I wrote this piece last year on how I’ve evolved my thinking on intros. And while not my most popular post by a long margin, it is something I do forward to others who ask for intros.
Now, despite that, people still ask for intros. And so at the risk of sounding like an a-hole, I’m going to say something that may offend a lot of people who know me.
Just because you make an intro between someone and me doesn’t mean I will automatically make an intro for you.
Few things to clarify:
1/ First off, I’m genuinely grateful for all intros. Whether it’s to someone you’ve known for a long time, or someone you just met yesterday, or someone you deeply respect, I’m honored that someone else is thinking of me when the intros are made. I will never take that for granted.
2/ I get the “you scratch my back, I scratch yours” mentality. But:
- Not all intros are created equal. Not all relationships are created equal. Introing me to someone you met yesterday does not give you the equivalent political capital for me to intro you to someone who, whether I know them well or not, is someone most people seek to meet. Just because a friend made an intro between a stranger they met at the bar last night doesn’t mean they’re allowed to ask an intro to your sister to date her. Obviously, I’m exaggerating a bit, but I wanted to drive the point home.
- People are not commodities. I don’t trade people like I trade my stocks. I will naturally make an intro if I know both parties are looking for each other, or at least topics, skillsets, or experiences that the other party has.
- If you make a great intro, I will of course:
(a) Report back to you and thank you for the intro.
(b) Find other ways to thank you beyond words.
The whole reason I’m writing this post in the first place is that a few bad eggs recently spoiled the entire carton. I had a few exchanges recently where certain individuals felt justified to ask for, and hell, take it a step further and demand, intros to certain reputable individuals I know because they made “that intro for you last year.” Which I admittedly felt it wasn’t worth continuing the conversation with the person they made an intro to within 15 minutes of our chat.
Most of you are not the above character. I get it. But I also felt the need to get the above off my chest and use it as a future artifact when the situation arises again.
Thanks for reading my ramble. Truly.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!
The views expressed on this blogpost are for informational purposes only. None of the views expressed herein constitute legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Any allusions or references to funds or companies are for illustrative purposes only, and should not be relied upon as investment recommendations. Consult a professional investment advisor prior to making any investment decisions.