A few weeks ago, I published Part 1 of this post on inspiration and frustration. In that time, its reception has been uplifting. Easily my most popular and well-received blog post to date. It also happens to be one of my favorite posts to have published so far. So, I thought I’d continue to ask people about their cocktail of emotions now, the below two questions:
- What is the one thing that inspires you so much that it makes everything else in life much easier to bear?
- What is stressing/frustrating you so much right now that it seems to invalidate everything else you’re doing?
But, each person can only choose one of the above two questions to answer.
Three of the below candid responses are people I asked from the first cohort, while the other eight are people I thought would add a new degree of freedom on perspective. All of which were drawn more to their inspiration than their frustration.
And as such…
- It takes a lot of things to inspire and motivate… rather than one individual thing. – Model, writer, founder
- I’m inspired to have a hand in making the world better for everyone through technological progress! – Venture capitalist
- I’ve made friends with a girl from my neighborhood grocery store and a stranger opened a door wide for me so I could run towards the train and not miss it. – Founding partner/CEO, investor, community manager
- When you start to understand that life is bigger than just you and me, there’s a shift in perspective that brings meaning and purpose to our lives. – Zynara Ng, public speaking coach, video producer, TED speaker
- We have the means to weather our current circumstances. – Business professor, consultant
- We have struggled to find an extremely valuable and painful problem to start with. Nevertheless, someone will figure it out. Why not me? – Startup founder
- We just got a new addition to our family. […] I look forward to future conversations about life and deep topics with him, just like this one! – Startup founder, podcast host
- We just tend to judge ourselves more harshly because we have our entire past and lived traumas that we judge ourselves by. – Senior policy aide
- Their thank you letters, pictures, and stories of how Vinder has changed or saved their business/life solidifies to me that I’m on the right path. – Sam Lillie, startup founder, hiker
- Since this goal is so long term and grand, it’s easy to realize that small things don’t matter. – Sohum Thakkar, engineer
- In a world that falls short of showing us unconditional love, I can live my life in such a way that I can be that source of acceptance that others need. – Engineer, writer
Inspiration
What is the one thing that inspires you so much that it makes everything else in life much easier to bear?
Diverse projects
“Okay soooo this is interesting, as I’m not sure I have a straightforward answer for either. But I’m going to go with the first question and give you my take on it.
“For me, it takes a lot of things to inspire and motivate… rather than one individual thing. I guess, by that logic, you could say that diversity keeps me inspired. I love that my days are always varied and that I have so many projects going on at once – even if that very fact can sometimes be overwhelming or hard to manage.
“But I was initially going to say that my genuine love and passion for the things I’m doing inspire me so much that everything else is easier to bear. If I was doing work that I didn’t enjoy (even if it was a big money earner), I’d lack the motivation to do anything.
“So there we go – my biggest inspiration = engaging in a variation of projects that I truly love.”
– Model, writer, founder
Making the world better
“I’m inspired to have a hand in making the world better for everyone through technological progress!”
– Venture capitalist
Loving NYC
“I’ve been so inspired by NYC. This city is huge yet every street feels like a cozy neighborhood. I thought New Yorkers were notoriously rude and rushed from point A to B but I’ve made friends with a girl from my neighborhood grocery store and a stranger opened a door wide for me so I could run towards the train and not miss it. When I said I was moving to NYC during the pandemic, I got funny looks… but everything made sense to me. I’m so glad I made the move. Now I just have to survive the winter 🙂 “
– Founding partner/CEO, investor, community manager
Giving grace
“I realized after months of living in this new era of the pandemic amongst many other things happening in my life that it has taken a toll on me, mentally, physically, and emotionally. It really comes in waves where one day, I’m feeling alright and feeling productive but within the next few hours or the very next day, it’s fleeting and I’m not feeling okay. One thing that I’ve learned during this time is to give myself the permission to just be exactly where I am and to be kind to myself — giving ourselves grace. We really are living in extraordinary times and it is absolutely okay to not feel okay.
“I am inspired most when I can help others and can be of service to others. When you start to understand that life is bigger than just you and me, there’s a shift in perspective that brings meaning and purpose to our lives. Whether it’s checking in on a friend in need, mentoring a young individual, or helping out in your community, these are the things that matter. This is what inspires me and brings me joy and purpose on the days that are particularly hard for me.”
– Zynara Ng, public speaking coach, video producer, TED speaker
Having the means
“In the grand scheme I am quite fortunate – I/we have the means to weather our current circumstances. Thus, when feeling stressed or worried, I try to keep an eye on that. Also – I have kids! So I need to be on my game. They too need to see optimism.”
– Business professor, consultant
Why not me?
“There is one concept I believe so deeply that it feels like an axiom: In twenty years (or any substantial time) from now, the software people use to do work will look completely different. I may not know exactly what it will look like, but I know it won’t look like what it does now. Our present day abstraction of software into self contained apps has resulted in data silos and inefficient workflows.
“I wake up every day inspired to be building what could be the next software abstraction for work. But, to be honest, it’s been really challenging so far. Sure the vision sounds great, but we have struggled to find an extremely valuable and painful problem to start with. Nevertheless, someone will figure it out. Why not me?”
– Startup founder
A new addition
“This is a bit too easy of an answer for me; we just got a new addition to our family. It’s awesome to have another kiddo (our second), and I look forward to watching him grow and learn. I look forward to future conversations about life and deep topics with him, just like this one! Seeing him with his older brother and the way that they are already expressing a bond between brothers is a pretty incredible thing to watch, and it makes my life feel full in a way that I really need right now. COVID has been tough — it’s taken away my hobbies, made startup life a little bit harder, and created a lot of distance between us and our friends and family. Often, my wife and I feel a little overwhelmed taking care of two kids day after day with few other people around to help out when things are tough. Watching my older son come home and immediately run to see his little brother makes things feel light.”
– Startup founder, podcast host
Opinions
“If I were to phrase this question in a way that I can provide a substantive answer to, I would phrase it as ‘What is a value, quality or thing that helps you in life?’.
“And if I were to try and answer that, I would say having healthy self-esteem. I’ve dealt with low self-esteem issues since I was young and I’ve noticed that it would manifest in interesting ways. For example, I realized I had a tendency to deflect or negate genuine compliments directed at me. My low self-esteem prevented me from internalizing any praises because it clashed with the beliefs that I held of myself. In other instances, I would outwardly boast about myself to the people around me knowing full well that I didn’t believe in those things deep down. Today, I realize how these behaviors were all rooted in insecurity because of something a wise lady once said to me.
“I was told that our opinion of ourselves is still just that – an opinion, and not fact. Just like how we require a mirror to see our own nose/face, there may be qualities that other people see in us that we might not necessarily see in ourselves. We just tend to judge ourselves more harshly because we have our entire past and lived traumas that we judge ourselves by. She was speaking to the greater idea that we shouldn’t necessarily take too much stock in our opinions of ourselves because the opinions of the people that we care about also hold equal weight.
“Internalizing this wisdom helped me develop a more balanced and accurate view of myself.”
– Senior policy aide
Bigger than oneself
“For me it’s the response I get from my customers that keeps me pushing forward. Their thank you letters, pictures, and stories of how Vinder has changed or saved their business/life solidifies to me that I’m on the right path and that Vinder is so much bigger than me that I can’t stop. It makes all the lows worth it 🙂 I’ve attached a screenshot of a message I received from one of our sellers after I purchased some of her brownies and ate them on IG.”
– Sam Lillie, startup founder, solo-hiked 2,650-mile long Pacific Crest Trail
Big dreams and small things
“This is an interesting set of questions! The second is one is truly for those that are extremely open with their emotions or truly hurting. I think I am neither. So, I’ll answer the first.
“Throughout my life I’ve had a lot of different thought processes I go through to deal with life’s many torments. Most of them consisted of engineering a mental or spiritual ‘homebase’ that was far apart from the things I was going through. It allowed me to treat bad environments like I was just a stranger passing by. Whenever I find I’m stressed, I deliberately think a series of thoughts that bring my focus back to homebase.
“When I was a middle schooler, I think I fell back on my characteristics. I remember my mother telling me ‘smart people are cooler than the cool people’. I took it to heart, and I remember reciting this when I felt bad about not being popular.
“When I was high schooler, my homebase was a persona or a dream. By persona, I mean that I considered myself to be ‘the most interested guy in the room,’ and since this is much less likely to change than any particular outcome, I would think about this whenever something went wrong. College was somewhat similar, except I strived to be a eclectic person – I wanted to try everything and learn everything. Having this as a target, it doesn’t matter much that I mess up, as long as I gain a diversity of experience.
“Nowadays, I live in two states: meditated, and not meditated.
“During the meditative periods in my life, I’m less delusional. I frequently go on 10 day meditative retreats, and I usually come out of each one with a far greater ability to reach a more universal, existential homebase. My thought process to reach it is this:
- Feel the sensations all across my body, and be aware of all my senses. Think a bit about how these are literally the only windows to the outside world, and that everything I think I know about the outside world came from simple activations of my senses in different places. The world is actually on my body.
- Then think about the infinitesimally tiny period of time that my life exists in, and notice that it means absolutely nothing.
- Then, conclude that I am only renting this body, nothing is truly in my control, and nothing is good or bad. It happens as it happens, and the micro-structure we call our world is utterly meaningless. No use stressing about outcomes.
“During less meditative times nowadays, I think of a long term vision: I want to be at the forefront of the quantum computing revolution. Since this goal is so long term and grand, it’s easy to realize that small things don’t matter.”
– Sohum Thakkar, engineer
Jesus
“The one thing that inspires me so much is Jesus. When I think about Jesus in my Baptist faith, I think of unconditional love. I think unconditional love is incredibly rare outside of your family or closest friends. The pressure of having to conform yourself to others’ worldly expectations leaves one without being accepted for who they are. That lack of acceptance, in its most basic forms, can be crippling to one’s self-esteem. With Jesus as my why, I can bear almost any how.
“Through my love of Jesus, I try and show this type of unconditional love to others. In a secular sense, I accept people for who they are, not what I or the world wants or thinks they should be or become, respectively. I’ve grown stronger in my faith because of this concept of unconditional love. It’s helped me understand how to react when people come up short of your expectations. More importantly, it’s helped me not be too hard on myself when I don’t meet my high standards in how I conduct myself.
“The most important thing about having Jesus as a source of my inspiration is to understand what the world can and cannot give you. I understand that His love and faith will be enough to fulfill me and that I don’t have to lust after the things that the world will offer me through temptation. Unconditional love helps me to live in the world, but not be of it. In a world that falls short of showing us unconditional love, I can live my life in such a way that I can be that source of acceptance that others need. My life is a product of my faith in Jesus, not from living in the world.”
– Engineer, writer
In closing
We often find ourselves in our own storm of emotions, but sometimes, it helps to find perspective from the lives and stories of others. Inspired by my friend who shared this with me in the last post, I’m going to quote Charlie Chaplin here.
“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.”
If I could amend what Mr. Chaplin said just by a little. “Life is frustrating when seen in close-up, but an inspiration in long-shot.”
Through the course of my research on this topic, I’ve had a lot of time to think about what inspiration means, what frustration means. And for all of us, how this cycle will never end. Nor should it. Because it’s only through this cycle, that we grow as human beings. Of the now 42 people that have shared their brilliance, some have reached what many of us deem to be success. Many are still making mistakes along the way. But it’s that pursuit of their ambition, where their path isn’t easy. They get beat down again and again, yet they get up every single time. That’s what inspires me.
Top photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash
Thank you Zynara Ng, Sam Lillie, Sohum Thakkar, and everyone else who allowed me to share their beautiful thoughts and insights and made this post possible.
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
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