#unfiltered #82 Sometimes The Best Thing You Can Have In Life Is The Best Partners

This past week, my friends were sending me one of the latest Shark Tank episodes (apologies for not finding a better fidelity video), asking me: Would you have invested?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7Yf2BrfC_ww
If this link dies due to copyright issues (since I haven’t waited till ABC puts out their original version), just Google “Shark Tank Eyewris”

But I bring it up not because I’m here to share what my thoughts on the deal, but because of a powerful lesson shared on Shark Tank’s Season 14 finale.

The best thing you can get in life is often to have the best partners. That’s true in business. That’s true in romance. And that’s true in life.

And yes, it’s also true in venture. As a founder, it’s not about who gives you the most money. Or gives your business the greatest valuation. Unfortunately, both are often vanity metrics, underscored in the 2020 and 2021 bull era. It’s about partnering with the right partners who can take you to the next stage. Partners who will keep you honest. Partners who will call you out on your BS. And partners who will tell you the things you don’t want to hear, who will have you do the things you don’t wanna do, so that you can be the founder you were meant to be.

In careers, it’s no less true. I’ve always looked at careers from the perspective of who can I learn the most from. It hasn’t always been the highest paying or the biggest brand. Frankly, it was easy to turn down both of the before if I didn’t feel like I would spending the next few years working with the best. Not only in terms of acumen, but also in how much they cared.

My friend Nichole Wischoff’s recent tweet echoes the same.

To think that one doesn’t need others to succeed, that’s foolish.


#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.


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The views expressed on this blogpost are for informational purposes only. None of the views expressed herein constitute legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Any allusions or references to funds or companies are for illustrative purposes only, and should not be relied upon as investment recommendations. Consult a professional investment advisor prior to making any investment decisions.

Mentors and Investors

There is an incredible wealth of people in this world who self-proclaim to have insights or secrets to unlocking insights. From parents to teachers to the wise soul who lives down the street. From coaches to gurus to your friendly YouTube ad. To mentors. To investors. While there are a handful who do have incredibly insightful anecdotes, their stories should serve as reference points rather than edicts of the future. Another tool in the toolkit. No advice is unconditionally right nor unconditionally wrong. All are circumstantial.

After all, a friend once told me: All advice is autobiographical.

The same is true for anything I’ve ever written. Including this blogpost in itself.

Over the past two weeks, as a first-time mentor, I’ve had the incredible fortune of working alongside and talking to some amazing founders at Techstars LA. At the same time, I was able to observe some incredible mentors at work. And in this short span of time so far, I’ve gotten to understand something very acutely. The dichotomy between mentors and investors. For the purpose of this blogpost, I’m going to focus on startup mentors, rather than other kinds of mentors (i.e. personal mentors). Although I imagine the two cohorts of mentors are quite synonymous.

While the two categories aren’t mutually exclusive, there are differences. A great mentor can be a great investor, and vice versa. But they start from two fundamentally different mindsets.

Investors/mentors

An investor tries to fit a startup in the mold they’ve prescribed. A mentor fits themselves into the mold a startup prescribes.

An investor thinks “Will this succeed?” A mentor thinks “Assuming this will succeed, how do we get there?”

An investor starts with “Why you?” A mentor starts with “Why not you?”

An investor evaluates how your past will help you get to your future. A mentor helps you in the present to get to your future.

An investor has a fiduciary responsibility to their investors (i.e. LPs). A mentor doesn’t. Or a mentor, at least, has a temporal responsibility to their significant other. Then again, everyone does to the people close to them.

An investor will be on your tail to hold you accountable because they’ve got skin in the game. A mentor might not.

You can’t fire your investor. You can theoretically “fire” your mentor. More likely, you’re going to switch between multiple mentors over the course of your founding journey.

An investor has a variable check size-to-helpfulness ratio. Who knows if this investor will be multiplicatively more helpful with intros, advice, operational know-how than the size of their check? A mentor has theoretically an infinite CS:H ratio. Check size, zero. Helpfulness, the sky’s the limit.

It’s also much harder to find a mentor than an investor, outside of startup communities, like On Deck and Indie Hackers, and acceleration and incubation programs, like Y Combinator and Techstars. Frankly, being a mentor is effectively doing free consultations over an extended period of time. And if you’re outside of these communities, the best way to bring on mentors is to bring them on as advisors with advisor equity. I would use Founder’s Institute’s FAST as a reference point. And Tim Ferriss‘ litmus test for bringing on advisors: If you could only ask 5-10 very specific questions to this person once every quarter, would they still be worth 0.5% of your company without a vesting schedule?

In closing

As I mentioned above, being a mentor and an investor isn’t mutually exclusive. The best investors are often incredible mentors. And some of the greatest mentors end up being investors into your startup as well. Having been in the venture world for a while, I’ve definitely seen all categories on this Venn diagram. Sometimes you need more of one than the other. Sometimes you need both. It’s a fluid cycle. And for the small minority of venture-scalable startups, it’s worth having both.

Photo by Robert Ruggiero on Unsplash


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The Frequency of the 3 Types of Mentors

I wrote an essay about the three types of mentors exactly a year ago. Peer. Tactical. Strategic.

  • Peer mentor – Someone who has a similar level of experience as you do in a given field.
  • Tactical mentor – Someone who is 2-5 years ahead in experience, and someone who can check your blind side. Because they have gone through similar situations as you are currently going through not too long ago, they can provide context as to the variables (core and confounding) involved.
  • Strategic mentor (which I formerly called veteran mentor) – Someone who has attained success in a particular field as you would define it. While they won’t be able to help you in the play-by-play, they can provide the bigger picture – the macroscopic view. Assessing and reassessing your long-term goals – your true north.

Rocks, pebbles, sand

Many of you might be no stranger to the rocks, pebbles, sand analogy. As the metaphor goes, if your life were a jar, you’d want to fill it with rocks first, then pebbles, then sand. If you start off filling your life with sand, you will have no more space for rocks and pebbles. Similarly, if you start filling it with pebbles, you will only have space left for sand, but not rocks. Analogized, rocks are your life and career’s most important projects and milestones. Pebbles are the smaller projects that lend itself to the whole, some of which you could do without. Sand represents the day-to-day, week-to-week ups and downs.

Rocks

Strategic mentors are most useful once a year (or at best 2-3 times/year) to see if you’re aligned with your goals. They help you set the large milestones you want to accomplish in your life.

  • What matters?
  • What doesn’t?

Pebbles

Tactical mentors, you seek after you come up with a few solutions/hypotheses that you would like to test. You don’t seek them as often, but they can help provide context to what you’re going through now, largely from their own experience having gone through it recently.

  • What variables am I overlooking or underestimating their effects on the outcome? Or simply put, what could go wrong?

Sand

You seek peer mentors before you come up with your solution and in problem-solving mode. These are the mentors you’re going to be spending the most time with. And most likely, the most abundant category of your mentors.

  • How would you attempt to resolve this dilemma? What would you do if you were in my shoes?
  • What are new, innovative ways I can use to tackle this problem?

While they vary in their sizes, each rock, pebble and sand is necessary to live your most fulfilling life.

In closing

Over the years, I’ve had the great fortune of having some amazing mentors and mentor figures that have shone me the proverbial light when alone, I may have struggled to find. Yet equally so, I’ve met their antithesis. Luckily very few, but nevertheless. People who don the mantle of being a mentor, but cannot tolerate your success when you surpass them. The latter I met years ago when I indiscriminately and naively sought out mentors, for the pure sake of just having “mentors”. Arguably, as a foolhardy contest of ego and pride, specifically to compensate my feelings of ineptitude.

A mentor like a friend is someone who is happier and wishes for your success than sometimes you do for yourself. Often, independent of their own escape velocity. Simply put, they invest in your success. And of course with that pretext, they are a scarcity. Even of those are willing and free enough to be mentors, given the volume of their inbound, understandably, their response rate is exceedingly low.

While that fact shouldn’t deter you from seeking mentorship, it makes me cherish the time, effort, and advice I have been fortunate enough to receive.

In the words of Tom Landry, legendary head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, “A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, so you can be who you have always known you could be.”

Photo by Anas Belmadani on Unsplash


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Three Types of Mentors

Photo by Rohan Makhecha on Unsplash

Christmas 2019 has finally turned its page, and Santa has granted with us with either presents or coal. Then again, coal may not be so bad. In /r/ShowerThoughts (where I regrettably spend maybe a wee bit too much time in), a Redditor shared that with a little pressure, naughty kids can turn their coals into diamonds.

Possibly deserving coal myself, every year, between Christmas and the new year, I regress to a husk of myself and binge the eight Harry Potter movies. Inspired by the Triwizard tournament, Cedric Diggory’s valiant sacrifice, and in a beautiful Socratic debate with some of my friends on Harry’s most impactful mentor, an unlikely hero came up – Mad-Eye Moody.

The Three Types of Witches/Wizards

As a nerd about mentorship, I believe mentorship is equal parts art and science. Every mentor-mentee relationship is unique like the stripes of a zebra or the folds in a human fingerprint. Along your life journey,you’ll have the fortune of being with many different mentors and mentees. Some are fleeting; some are life-long. Yet, there are still general themes among these relationships. More specifically, I’ve observed three kinds of mentorships:

  • Peer,
  • Tactical,
  • And, Veteran.

Peer mentorship comes from someone who is facing a similar problem to you or has as much experience in a respective field as you do. A peer mentor will be down in the dirt with you, rolling in the mud. Together, you aim to learn how to navigate the complexity of the landscape.

Tactical mentorship comes from someone who has two to five years more experience than you in a field you want to grow in. He/she is someone who is able to able to see around the corner before you do. A tactical mentor can provide the nitty-gritty tactics to conquer many of your challenges. Most startup investors, who see a breadth of deals, but only experience some depth, tend to fall under this category.

Veteran mentorship comes from someone who has already attained the level of success that you hope to one day achieve in a given field. Veteran mentors can help you define your true north, providing both vision and scope. Unfortunately, because it’s been a few since they’ve tackled a similar scope of a problem, they won’t be able to provide the ABCs for you.

Magic and Mentorship

Like the Triwizard Maze, the world around us is always changing, posing new obstacles and surprising us with new challenges. Though not frequently, the variables and parameters for our success will always be changing. Our peer mentors, like Cedric Diggory, Fleur Delacour, and Viktor Krum, are our companions to conquer the seemingly impossible. Our tactical mentors, like those who have been chosen by the Goblet before, help us to make the right judgment at each crossroads. Our veteran mentors, like Mad-Eye and Dumbledore, are our lumos to see a bigger picture. All of them will help us find the signal in the noise. More importantly, are the supporting force that have, is, and will be pushing us forward towards our own Triwizard Cup.