Tag: thought lounge

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DGQ 1: What would the Future You say about the You today?

mirror, future you

Not too long ago, I published a blogpost walking through my top 9 founder questions that deserve more attention. In it, I detailed:

  1. The questions
  2. My rationale for asking each of them

Surprisingly, it did really well. A few folks reached out to me before that post, which inspired its due subsequence, asking if I had a repository of questions to share. And after, asking me to do more of such calculi.

While I’m compiling something of the like on the backend, with no real deadline, as it’ll grow over time, I thought I’d dedicate a series on this blog to new and old questions that come into my purview. Each paired with:

  1. Why I ask it the way I do
  2. In what circumstances do I find myself asking it
  3. And if applicable, how I build up to asking that question

And as bowtie to wrap everything up nicely together, I’m calling it the DGQ series. Or Damn Good Questions. Or it’s counterpart, Dumb and Garbled Questions. I’ll let you decide what each question stands for. But I’m really not the best with naming conventions, so if anyone has a better one, I’m all ears.

As the rocket takes off, I thought I’d begin by sharing the question that inspired me to start this new series.

What would [20+age] year old [name] say about the [name] that sits before me today?

For instance, what would 45-year old David say about the David that sits before me today?

I’ve heard many variations of this question, but the wording of this question in particular is an ode to my buddy, Matt, founder of nomofomo and UCLA’s President of Thought Lounge. After all, many of the best ideas I have in my noggin’ right now are not my own. This question is no exception.

There’s this great line from the song A Million Dreams, which I’m going to spare you my sad excuse for a karaoke singer, that goes like: “I don’t care, I don’t care, so call me crazy. We can live in a world that we design.” As luck would have it, I found it when I read Mike Maples Jr‘s piece from last year on backcasting. Which, if you have a spare 10 minutes, I highly recommend checking out as well. And speaking of quotable lines, he wrote, “The future doesn’t happen to us; it happens because of us. The future is not like the weather. It doesn’t just happen. People make the future. It’s not a destiny or hope; it’s a decision.”

He goes on to say, “Breakthrough builders are visitors from the future, telling us what’s coming. They seem crazy in the present but they are right about the future. Legendary builders, therefore, must stand in the future and pull the present from the current reality to the future of their design.”

Similarly, not only the greatest founders, but I also found that the greatest life athletes live in a similar mantra. It takes real courage to stand where no one is standing and decide that is the direction you want to pursue. You might be right; you might be wrong. But there’s something to be said about the clarity you will have when you live life under the assumption that you’ve already done it.

For example, I suffer from stage fright. But I find great comfort in visualizing myself doing what scares me the most again and again, until I get comfortable standing on stage. Imagining myself giving the same talk in front of one friend, 10 friends, 50 people and even 5,000 people. Each time I level up, I imagine the fear as well as the excitement that comes with it. Embracing both the former and the latter.

In a similar way, the way the future me looks at the naĂŻve me of today helps me find the elusive confidence I need when I’m in doubt. Would future me look at today me and shake his head in disappointment or pride? What would he tell me to do if he sees I’m struggling? And when I myself cannot manifest the courage to take a step forward, my wiser and more resilient self will manifest the destiny I am meant to walk.

As Suleika Jaouad, author of the memoir Between Two Kingdoms, once said, “[The] act of writing a future dream in the present tense has really kind of helped assuage that fear.”

So ask yourself, What would the Future You say about the You that sits before me today?

I imagine even if you don’t find powerful answers, you’ll find powerful questions that will serve as guiding principles in your own life.

Photo by Caroline Veronez on Unsplash

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#unfiltered #50 What is Your Opening Bid?

“Is your opening bid to assume trust – to assume someone is trustworthy – and to grant them the full benefits of that? Or is your opening bid to not trust, but the trust can be earned?”

Over the past weekend, my friend shared this brilliant interview between Jim Collins and Shane Parrish at Farnam Street. The same friend who recommended this podcast that catalyzed my essay on how to think like an LP. So, needless to say, when she sent me this one, I had to tune in. I’ve been a big fan of Jim for a long time, ever since one of my favorite college professors recommended that I read Good to Great. He has an amazing talent with wordsmithing – bringing seemingly incongruous concepts together in analogous harmony. So when Jim uttered the above quote, I took my Staedtler pen and 180 g/m2 paper out.

“Have you ever considered the possibility?”

Jim also shared, “Brutal fact: Not everyone is trustworthy. And the brutal fact is that some people abuse that trust.” Some people will abuse that trust. Some people will really let you down. But that, in my opinion, as well as Bill Lazier’s – Jim Collins’ mentor, is just the cost of living. That shouldn’t change your disposition in the world, but rather illustrate how much more you should cherish the ones that are trustworthy.

Jim furthered that notion with another anecdote from his mentor, Bill. “Have you ever considered the possibility, Jim, that your opening bid affects how people behave? If you trust people, you’re more likely that they will act in a trustworthy way. So it’s a double win. It’s the best people and they’ll behave in a trustworthy way. The flip side is if you have an opening bid of mistrust, the best people will not be attracted to that. If you have an opening sense of you have to earn my trust, […] some of the best people are gonna be like ‘I don’t need to put up with that. I’ll go do something else.'”

Thinking aloud

Coincidentally, a few weekends ago, one of my good friends hosted a thought lounge. The first I’ve participated after hearing about it for a few years. The purpose of which, and I quote, “is meant to be a place where passionate people come together to practice dialogue and have meaningful conversations.” Every person brings in a topic that’s designed to spark kinetic intellectual energy that each lasts for 12 minutes. And where “creative conflict” is encouraged.

It just so happens that one of the four topics that came up that day was the law of attraction. A concept that states that similar people attract each other. And that one’s thoughts can attract similar results. The more you think you will succeed, the more likely you are to succeed. And likewise the same might be true for failing. One of my fellow participants brought up a great Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

And it acutely reminds me of a story I once read in Tim Ferriss’ Tribe of Mentors. Robert Rodriguez, who directed one of my childhood favorite franchises Spy Kids, shared with Tim when asked the question, “If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?”

“I like the idea of setting impossible challenges and, with one word, making it sound doable, because then it suddenly is. So I’d choose FÁCIL! for my billboard. It’s a good reminder that anything can be done, with relative ease and less stress, if you have the right mindset. […] Attitude comes first.”

In closing

“Is your opening bid to assume trust – to assume someone is trustworthy – and to grant them the full benefits of that?”

That’s the line I need on my fortune cookie. If one day I unwittingly become a foolhardy skeptic, I want to open up a fortune cookie after a lonely meal I’ve stuffed myself to the brim on. On a quiet late night Uber ride home, thinking I’ve eaten all I can eat… I want to read that line.

My opening bid is trust. It always has been. And I hope it always will be. I know that people have taken advantage of my kindness and trust. And I know there will be more that will in the future. But I hope I never lose the optimism in my eyes.

My opening bid is still trust. What’s yours?

Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

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