#unfiltered #70 Conviction Comes From The Stories We Tell Ourselves

focus, conviction, motivation

On the second half of a late summer Friday, as I was overlooking the singed blades of the parched grass in our front yard, I found my good friend, Andrew, in my inbox. An inbox that was about to be empty from filing an eclectic collection of investor updates, food science analyses, tech articles, and my weekly subscription of Substack extraordinaires into my Read Later folder.

An email headline in boldface. All it would take would be two clicks. Two clicks to add to my party of internet writers I would be conversing with over a Saturday morning of roasted hojicha tea. Instead, I clicked once. Just once. And I’m glad I did.

Andrew started writing again. Pen to paper. Or rather, finger to keyboard. And that, that was worth celebrating. I, like many of his other friends, had been starved, deprived, relieved of his prose given his busy schedule. In it, he postulated the relationship between commitment and conviction.

“Commitment helps you stay on the path. Conviction is what calls you to the path in the first place.”

In sum, the pre-requisite for commitment is conviction. And so, it got me thinking about the source of conviction…

From inspiration

For decades, athletes have tried to break the 4-minute mile. According to British author John Bryant, since 1886. “It had become as much a psychological barrier as a physical one. And like an unconquerable mountain, the closer it was approached, the more daunting it seemed.”

But it wasn’t till May 6, 1954, did Roger Bannister break it with a time six-tenths under the mark. As soon as Bannister did it, 46 days later, another did. One year later, three runners broke the once elusive 4-minute barrier in one race.

The thing is, nothing technological had changed in the world when all these runners post-Bannister broke the four minutes. Nutrition hadn’t drastically improved. Neither was there drastic evolution in the technology of shoes. Yoram Wind and Colin Crook argues it was a mindset shift. The impossible was possible.

We see the same notion today in the world of emerging markets. In these markets, the first wave of unicorn founders is usually spearheaded by Harvard and Stanford grads building X for Latam or Y for Africa. For instance, both of Grab’s founders are HBS graduates. Gojek’s Nadiem is no exception. Nubank’s David Velez holds a similar Stanford GSB degree. So does Cabify’s Juan de Antonio. Rappi’s founders are also Stanford alumni. And the list goes on. They come with the Silicon Valley mindset in a market underestimated by not only the broader world but by the homegrown talent themselves. I like the way a Midwest founder-turned-investor once put it, “My mind is in Silicon Valley, but my feet are in the Midwest.” The same is true for this first wave.

And once they’ve proven it’s possible to reach unicorn status, the second wave follows quickly after.

Most people follow in the footsteps of our predecessors. Older siblings are the same for their younger siblings. Parents are that for their children. While I’m not a parent yet myself, I do aspire to be that for my children. Equally so, that’s why we need diverse representation in media, in positions of power, and in stories.

For many, conviction comes from examples to disprove the limitations of our own imagination.

From emotion

For a handful of others, conviction comes from a deep desire to prove or disprove.

There’s a superpower that comes with being underestimated. Reddit’s founders famously hung on the office walls the words of a Yahoo! exec who told them,  they were nothing but a “rounding error.”

When Michael Phelps’ eight gold medals in Beijing were on the line, their coach Bob used what the French team was boasting on the papers as motivation in the locker rooms. “The Americans? We’re going to smash them. That’s what we came here for.” And soon after, the world was blessed with one of the greatest races to date. A race of which the Americans — the underdogs — pulled a miraculous spectacle of conviction and resolve.

For founders, you need obsession, not just passion. Many of the best ones have a personal vendetta — a deep, unquenchable desire borne out of time spent in the idea maze. Every successful founder needs to perform 10-15 miracles in the startup to household name journey. Trials by fire that are meant to deter the fainthearted.

After chatting with a number of limited partners (LPs, folks who invest in venture funds) over the past two months, I’ve realized the thread of founder obsession continues here. That investor-market fit is not just a function of professional experience but also of life experience. Once again, a deep desire to change the world from personal frustrations and the hope that no one will ever have to go through what they went through.

In closing

Earlier this year, Reed Hastings shared a profound line with the graduating class, “[stories are] about harnessing the human spirit.” Conviction starts from the story we tell ourselves. The story itself is bound by the limitations of our own imagination. And conviction happens to be the belief that we can will our imagination into existence.

Michelangelo once said, “The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.” Commitment is the dedication to your conviction. A devotion to say no to distractions and yes to the person you want to be.

We live in a world filled with shiny objects. So, ask yourself, do you want what others want? Or what you truly want? Is your conviction inherited or innate?

I was listening to the latest episode of the All-In podcast, and David Friedberg echoed a similar notion for the greater human race, “What differentiates humans from all other species on Earth is our ability to tell stories. A story is a narrative about something that doesn’t exist. And by telling that narrative, you can create collective belief in something. And then that collective belief drives behavioral change and action in the world.”

Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash


#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.


Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!


Any views expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone. They are not a representation of values held by On Deck, DECODE, or any other entity I am or have been associated with. They are for informational and entertainment purposes only. None of this is legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Please do your own diligence before investing in startups and consult your own adviser before making any investments.

v26.0

I spent the majority of my 25th year of being alive in 2021. A year of Yes’s. A year of unexpected surprises created by increasing the surface area in which luck can stick. And by transitive property, I intentionally opened myself up for exploration. Some might call them distractions. For me, they were the scenic route. A route that may or may not change the final destination. But I will only know the robust or flawed nature of my initial destination if I take Highway 101.

And quite expectedly, I said “Yes” to projects that would push me past my “limits.” In foresight, scary. Might I say, fearfully challenging, plagued with self-doubt. Yet, just one question kept pushing me forward while I sought the comfort of being a blanket burrito.

What if this were easy?

Synonymously, if I were the world’s leading expert on this topic, how would I approach this? Not only tactically, but also emotionally. Or oftentimes, lack thereof.

In hindsight, I usually realize I had handicapped myself with training wheels all these years. I am nevertheless proud to say I would have surprised the me on the cusp of 25 years young more than twice given this past year.

This year will continue to be a year of Yes. And, I will undoubtedly continue to surprise myself. Shock will continue to be my currency of growth. Not from others, but by myself.

I have spent a lot of time thinking whether annual goals are the best forms of motivation for a myopic human like myself. I have given into short-term gratification more often than I can count. This past year, the near-term “Yes” is closely correlated with fried chicken and hojicha. Sorry, they are my Kryptonite. It’s unfortunate that my mom dipped me into the Styx holding both rather than just one of my heels.

If I hadn’t gone through my birthday resolutions of my 25th year I wouldn’t be here today. And it wouldn’t have led to the v26.0 software update as it stands.

My latest software update

As such, by 27, I will have spent at least twice a week getting into the flow state – inspired and courtesy of my colleague Edgar Brown. What is the flow state? As one of my good buddies describes it, “the flow state is a state you enter when you feel the most alive and creative. You’re 100% immersed in the activity you’re doing. It’s a completely egoless state. You don’t care – and frankly, forget – about what other people say. Yet after going through the flow state, your ego strengthens and becomes part of your identity.”

Of a similar vein, creativity is also very much a luxury I would like to indulge in more, shackled only by my minor, but noticeable discomfort with idle time. An unfortunate byproduct of my occupational hazard, otherwise known as “hustle porn” as Alexis Ohanian of Reddit fame so elegantly describes it. In year 26, I will have found profound solace in cold silence, where one would find comfort in the absence of speech, as opposed to hot silence – silence that is awkward. And in these weekly cold silent flow states, I hope to better identify my own signal amidst the noise.

In closing

Before this essay sounds any more like a wannabe doctorate dissertation, I hope that in writing this for the public eye, I can better hold myself accountable for my goals.

I hope there will be no consecutive offenders to my resolution list. Since it’ll mean that after a year, I still haven’t broken into the habit I want to build for myself. And it’s that delta between promise and reality that’ll have me going back to the drawing board again. And if you ever see that there are, this blog will keep me honest for failing on my promise to myself. While I imagine there will be repeat offenders by product of growth-inspired oscillations, I am at the end of the day a constant work-in-progress.


Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

#unfiltered #55 Short Spurts of Motivation

motivation, walk

Over the past two weeks, I’ve been working on a new blogpost about self-doubt, which I expect will come out soon. Or rather, soonTM. At the same time, after watching a week’s worth of incredible aquatic talent, I saw as the era of the swimming greats I grew up with came to a close. Michael Phelps. Natalie Coughlin. Nathan Adrian. Allison Schmitt. Anthony Ervin. Jason Lezak. Cullen Jones. Kosuke Kitajima. Dara Torres. And much more.

They were part of the defining score of years that brought the sport into the limelight. To most, most of the above names carry little gravity, outside of Phelps. But to me, they were the names that had me huddled around the TV. Watching the prelims. The semis. And of course the finals. They were the names that inspired me to be better.

As Ervin said, “We are the oldest of the fastest and the fastest of the oldest. We are men between worlds.”

But as they came back for one last curtain call this Olympic Trials, I couldn’t help but recall their influence on me in some of my most formative years. Whether I need that extra push for the most challenging project in my life to date or that shoulder to lean on when I am at my worst, there’s one race I cannot help but think about.

Just like when a Yahoo! exec told the Reddit co-founders that they were a “rounding error” and the team subsequently decided to frame it on their office wall as motivation, in 2008, the US Olympic 4×100 freestyle relay team faced a similar dilemma. Despite having Phelps on the relay team, they weren’t the crowd favorites. The French were. They – the American team – were the underdogs.

In fact, that 2008, French team boasted some of the fastest sprinters in the history of the sport. Alain Bernard who had just won his gold in the 100 meter freestyle. And Amaury Leveaux who had taken the silver in the 50 meter freestyle. And besides Lezak who tied for bronze in the 100 meter freestyle, none of the others on the US team had medaled for a short-distance freestyle event that Olympics.

Pound for pound, the US relay team had to deliver not only their best, but beat their best. To have a chance at beating the French team. So for motivation, they read Bernard’s comment in the papers over and over. “The Americans? We’re going to smash them. That’s what we came here for.”

Phelps leads the race, giving his team a slight lead over France. Weber-Gale holds that lead for the Americans. Jones, the slowest and the third leg of the team, yet still punching every inch of his worth, gives the lead back to France. And Bernard, the world champion in the 100 free, against Lezak for the US, gets a strong lead for a race and a length he is already the best in the world at. Lezak trails behind by over half a body length at the flip. 50% done of the last leg of the race.

I remember sitting in front of the television screen, screaming and hoping my voice would reach the Water Cube in Beijing. “C’mon… c’mon! C’mon!!” Lezak, at 32, one of the oldest competitors in the pool that year, pulled together what could only be described as sheer willpower. Those last 50 meters… seemed to have been the longest 23 seconds of my life. A breath for every second that passed. A breath for every second Lezak pulled closer to Bernard. And in the last ten seconds, minus the sound of the TV, the room was silent. As some people might say, you could hear the sound of a pin drop. It did. With a margin of eight hundredths of a second.

One of the tightest and most inspiring races in all of history. If you ask me, the greatest. And the race I watch time and time again when I am at my worst.

You have to see it for yourself to really believe the excitement.

Top photo by Tegan Mierle on Unsplash


#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.


Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

#unfiltered #40 Questions That Hone Your Emotional Fitness

As I’m gearing up for a few projects, I spent the last few weeks pondering on a number of questions. And to stress test those questions, I spent the greater half of that time asking the people around me. But in the process of doing so, I found 10 of the above questions sponsored the most self-inquiry within myself and others.

The Questions

Elad Gil, legendary angel investor, said in an interview late last year that “every startup needs to have a single miracle… If your startup needs zero miracles to work, it probably isn’t a defensible startup. If your startup needs multiple miracles, it probably isn’t going to work.” Was there a defining miracle, when preparation met opportunity, that got you to where you are today?

Similarly: Life is some percent skill and effort and some percent of luck. How much has luck contributed to get you to where you are today?


In 2005, a Yahoo! Exec once told the Alexis Ohanian, founder of Reddit, that they were a “rounding error” which Alexis then framed on the company wall as motivation. Have there been chapters of your life that were defined by strong opposition – externally or internally – and your ambition to prove them wrong?


Pat Riley, Hall of Famer basketball coach, wrote in his book, The Winner Within, “You don’t wanna be the best at what you do; you wanna be the only one who does what you do.” What skills, experience, or mental models do you have where you are the only person – or in extremely rarified air – who can do what you do?


Quoting Jerry Colonna in his book Reboot, how are you complicit in creating the conditions you say you don’t want?


Norman Vincent Peale, author of the bestseller, The Power of Positive Thinking, once said, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” Entrepreneurs are people who pursue impossible odds and enjoy the journey of shooting for the moon to become world-class athletes. Telling them no is like telling a 7-year old they can’t become an NBA All-Star. Odds are they’re not going to succeed, but the process of pursuing that goal makes it worthwhile. And in doing so, they become a stronger, more resilient individual than never trying to pursue it in the first place. In your life, what have you done or would you do regardless of the outcome of the pursuit?


Andy Rachleff, founder of Wealthfront and Benchmark, once said in an interview: “If we’re batting a thousand or close to a thousand, we’ve done a really poor job.” If your probability of success is really high, the likelihood of a big win is extremely low. To win and not just focus on not losing, you have to take big risks. And as per the definition of risk, you’re more likely to fail. Have you had a failure in your life that contributed the most to where you are today?

On the same token, have there been alleged setbacks turned out to be a blessings in disguise? Or, were there “misfortunes” that turned out to be fortunes?


Let’s say life is a game blackjack. If the first card you drew represents your journey prior to 2020 – face up – and the second card exemplifies your life from 2020 till now – face down, which two cards did you draw? And would you continue “hitting” knowing the hand you’re dealt?


I saw in a Quora thread once, “When you are happy you enjoy the music, but when you are sad you understand the lyrics.” When you were in your lowest of lows, were there words, phrases, or lessons that had profoundly new meaning to them?


Desmond Tutu, who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984, once said, “My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.” So, to borrow his words, what are the common themes between moments you’ve given up your humanity, either individually or collectively?


What is the narrative that you find most compelling when your inner weather is the most turbulent?

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash


#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.


Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

Being Nice vs. Running a Great Business

Photo by Matteo Vistocco on Unsplash

While on my way to see a friend the other day, instead of cancelling, our Uber Pool driver decided to wait for the third rider. After a few exchanges of texts and calls, to the vocally evident dismay of the rider before me, we ended up waiting eight minutes. Therefore, delaying the rest of our arrival times by that same margin. In the ensuing silence that followed, I spent a little time thinking about the fascinating dichotomy between being nice and running a great business.

At the risk of receiving two low-star ratings, our driver opted to be nice and wait for the potential one five-star rating. To his credit, the third rider was incredibly grateful for his patience. In an alternate universe, he would have chosen to cancel the last rider’s request after waiting about two minutes.

The Examples

Social stereotypes might suggest that being nice and running a great business are two polar opposites. The portrayals of Mark Zuckerberg, in The Social Network, and Steve Jobs, in every biographical movie of him, only further perpetuate this motif. But, the truth is they’re not mutually exclusive. Many of the best businesses out there, like TOMS and Salesforce, are purpose-driven and spread positive impact. In the past few years, it should and has been, for many, a priority for building a brand.

Driving positive social impact is beginning to gain traction among a class of notoriously financially-driven individuals: venture investors. Although impact investing is one way, prominent VCs, like Felicis Ventures and Brad Feld, have also committed to founder’s mental health.

The marriage of being nice and running a great business comes in two parts:

  • Transparent and honest communication with your customers,
  • And, follow-through on promises and feedback implementation.

After all, it’s a collaborative effort.

One of my favorite examples is Digital Extremes – the developer for one of the most popular games on Steam, Warframe. Like many other businesses, they donate regularly to charities – from leukemia awareness to children’s health to most recently, the Australian wildfire. But, unlike many others, they engage their users every week through their stellar community management team. In fact, their community director, Rebecca Ford, was recognized in the 30 Under 30 Forbes list this year. Through a weekly permutation of developer streams, forum posts/polls, and social media content, they listen and engage with feedback. And through weekly hotfixes and content updates, which already speaks volumes in the game industry, they incorporate that feedback.

Don’t just take my word for it. Their subreddit serves as an example of one of the most positive and honest communities I’ve ever seen.

In Closing

Of course, no business is perfect. And the business may not always agree with the consumer’s thoughts. But, through transparent communication, radically candor (thank you to the brilliant Kim Scott), and following through, you can be nice and run a great business.

Instead of staying silent, if our Uber driver had asked us if we were in a hurry and agreed on a time limit to how long we’d wait (maybe even offered us a snack during the wait, but that might be stretching it), he might have gotten three five-star reviews.