I spent the majority of my 25th year of being alive in 2021. A year of Yes’s. A year of unexpected surprises created by increasing the surface area in which luck can stick. And by transitive property, I intentionally opened myself up for exploration. Some might call them distractions. For me, they were the scenic route. A route that may or may not change the final destination. But I will only know the robust or flawed nature of my initial destination if I take Highway 101.
And quite expectedly, I said “Yes” to projects that would push me past my “limits.” In foresight, scary. Might I say, fearfully challenging, plagued with self-doubt. Yet, just one question kept pushing me forward while I sought the comfort of being a blanket burrito.
What if this were easy?
Synonymously, if I were the world’s leading expert on this topic, how would I approach this? Not only tactically, but also emotionally. Or oftentimes, lack thereof.
In hindsight, I usually realize I had handicapped myself with training wheels all these years. I am nevertheless proud to say I would have surprised the me on the cusp of 25 years young more than twice given this past year.
This year will continue to be a year of Yes. And, I will undoubtedly continue to surprise myself. Shock will continue to be my currency of growth. Not from others, but by myself.
I have spent a lot of time thinking whether annual goals are the best forms of motivation for a myopic human like myself. I have given into short-term gratification more often than I can count. This past year, the near-term “Yes” is closely correlated with fried chicken and hojicha. Sorry, they are my Kryptonite. It’s unfortunate that my mom dipped me into the Styx holding both rather than just one of my heels.
If I hadn’t gone through my birthday resolutions of my 25th year I wouldn’t be here today. And it wouldn’t have led to the v26.0 software update as it stands.
My latest software update
As such, by 27, I will have spent at least twice a week getting into the flow state – inspired and courtesy of my colleague Edgar Brown. What is the flow state? As one of my good buddies describes it, “the flow state is a state you enter when you feel the most alive and creative. You’re 100% immersed in the activity you’re doing. It’s a completely egoless state. You don’t care – and frankly, forget – about what other people say. Yet after going through the flow state, your ego strengthens and becomes part of your identity.”
Of a similar vein, creativity is also very much a luxury I would like to indulge in more, shackled only by my minor, but noticeable discomfort with idle time. An unfortunate byproduct of my occupational hazard, otherwise known as “hustle porn” as Alexis Ohanian of Reddit fame so elegantly describes it. In year 26, I will have found profound solace in cold silence, where one would find comfort in the absence of speech, as opposed to hot silence – silence that is awkward. And in these weekly cold silent flow states, I hope to better identify my own signal amidst the noise.
In closing
Before this essay sounds any more like a wannabe doctorate dissertation, I hope that in writing this for the public eye, I can better hold myself accountable for my goals.
I hope there will be no consecutive offenders to my resolution list. Since it’ll mean that after a year, I still haven’t broken into the habit I want to build for myself. And it’s that delta between promise and reality that’ll have me going back to the drawing board again. And if you ever see that there are, this blog will keep me honest for failing on my promise to myself. While I imagine there will be repeat offenders by product of growth-inspired oscillations, I am at the end of the day a constant work-in-progress.
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