I was on a walk with an LP friend recently around Redwood City. And he told me a remark that another LP had about a mutual investor relations friend we had. That our IR friend started the conversation with, “What are your life goals?” And it alarmed that LP who was meeting our IR friend for the first time. To which, this LP told a few others that he was not only thrown off, but also felt offput by the interaction.
It led to a discussion between my LP friend and I where neither of us, knowing this mutual IR friend, would ever think less of our IR friend because that’s just how this person operates. But to someone who has no context of our friend, it would seem bizarre.
One of my friends who, at one point in time, was a full-time professional DJ, once told me, “The golden number is 120. 120 beats per minute. It’s the rhythm that when you strip all the noise away and you can get a heart to beat that fast, it feels like you’re in flow—flow state. Pure ecstacy.
“But you can’t start the set at 120. If your mix is at that pace, and the heart isn’t, it feels discombobulating. You need to work up to it. Start the set at 70. And over the course of a one- to two-hour set, you work your way up to it. And notice the audience. The crowd must be nodding their head to your beat. And if you ever lose that bob, slow the set down again. And try to catch that heart rate again.”
To this day, probably one of the best pieces of advice on how to hold a conversation I’ve gotten to date. And it was never meant to be so.
A question I get surprisingly often is: “Why did you start the podcast?”
Among many reasons — I get to ask dumb questions to smart people, refine my diligence skillset, get better at asking questions, and so on — one of which was that when I only have an hour and change with someone, I’d rather not spend 10-15 minutes on small talk. How are you? How was the weekend? Which seems to be the LLM that’s coded in us on how to start a conversation and hope eventually, you can get to the meat and potatoes of the conversation. And it makes sense.
To use the DJ analogy above, most people’s resting heart rate is around 60-100. To take the middle of the road, 80. And for busy people who are constantly distracted by meetings and tasks that need their attention, a conversation with a stranger is among the lowest of their priorities. So I always believed that people would be near their resting heart rate when chatting with a nobody like myself. As such, they need icebreakers like “How are you?” to warm them up to the conversation, where their first impression of how you answer that question will indicate where the conversation might go.
On the flip side, most people haven’t been on podcasts. Much less, the guests I aim to have on. LPs. Many typically aren’t given the stage. And even if they are, it’s closed door discussions and private events. Rarely, do they get a public stage. So, the hypothesis was that on average, an LP will most likely be more nervous, excited, you name your fair share of anticipatory emotions jumping on a podcast as opposed to an offline 1:1 conversation. Six seasons in, I’d say we’re pretty close to the mark there.
As such, a faster heart rate means I am often given the privilege of starting the conversation not from “How are you?” but a question closer to 100-110 beats per minute, with hopes we can get into the questions that result in 120+ bpm sooner. And it’s almost always easier to ask a question “for the audience” than for yourself.
“Tell us about the time you proposed to your wife via a billboard. And how does that influence the way you think about pitches today?”
“Half your games on chess.com open with the Ruy Lopez. How do you think about opening gambits when you play white. And how much, if at all, does it influence the way you think about opening a conversation with a GP?”
“How does getting your first day in investment banking postponed, which was supposed to be Sept 11, 2001, influence the way you think about serendipity?”
All questions that I would hesitate to say, would be easy opening gambits in a 1:1 coffee chat. But your mileage may vary.
Photo by Tobias Rademacher on Unsplash
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The views expressed on this blogpost are for informational purposes only. None of the views expressed herein constitute legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Any allusions or references to funds or companies are for illustrative purposes only, and should not be relied upon as investment recommendations. Consult a professional investment advisor prior to making any investment decisions.
