Over the weekend, I was brewing up some mad lemonade. ‘Cause well, that’s the summer thing to do. Since I’m limited in my expeditions outdoors, it’s just watching the sun skim over the horizon, blossoming its rose petals across the evening sky, in my backyard, sipping on homemade lemonade. If you’re curious about my recipe, I’ll include it at the bottom of this post.
Thomas Keller. An individual probably best known, among many others, for his achievements with The French Laundry. Needless to say, I was enamored by his talk. But the fireworks in my head didn’t start going off until the 12:46 mark.
Yesterday evening, I sat in our backyard, sipping homemade lemonade and sketching out my weekly creative endeavor (why). Between sips and furtive glances upwards, I hoped to catch a glimpse of NEOWISE. But alas, I forgot to pray to the weather gods in the morning.
Disappointed, I packed up to head inside. As if by a stroke of fate, my phone buzzed. You know, this story would be more dramatic if my disappointment was telepathically transmitted to my friends. Tongue in cheek, I apologize if I got your hopes up. But, it was merely the influx of messages after my timed “Do Not Disturb” mode switched off. Yet one of these blips came from a good ol’ swim team pal into our group chat. Lo and behold – an HD cross section in time of the exact comet.
I propped my cell above my head, positioned just north of the horizon. And unable to hold my smile back, I stuck around for a while longer.
So what?
You’re probably wondering: How the hell does yesterday’s smile have to do with “You will be what you eat, you are what you excrete”. As the title of the post so kindly suggests. Trust me it does. Admittedly, probably not the greatest of blog post titles, but, hey, it rhymes. Which might be the lamest excuse you’ve heard this month. But I digress.
You will be what put in your body. You are already what comes out of your body. Literally. Well, I’m sure my cousins who are molecular cell biologists will point out some (or many) of the nuances I missed. But we don’t have to count the cards.
The same is true for your personality. You build your personality based on the inputs in your life from when you’re younger. Your personality is subsequently evidenced by what you say and do.
And, I can say the same for education, biases, and so on. For the purpose of this post, I’d like to underscore one other – relationship-building. Or as most others understand it, networking. But I have a mild allergic reaction to that nomination.
Last night, I caught up with an old friend who has a few more miles on his career odometer than I have. And he shared something quite profound.
“The goal of job-seeking is to never have to submit another resume again.”
In frankness, I’ve never thought about job-seeking in that context. But it makes complete sense. You perform so well in each position that your (former) co-workers start spreading the word about you. “If you need help with [insert subject matter], you have to work with [you].” Effectively, you’re building virality around you through each ‘customer’ interaction being amazing.
And the more I thought about it last night, the more parallels I found. For founders…
The goal of an entrepreneur is to never have to pitch to investors again.
For investors…
The goal of an investor is to never have to pitch how awesome or founder-friendly their firm is to LPs or a potential investment.
And taking a step back, looking at this through macro-lens…
The goal of any professional is to never have to sell again.
You may neither be a startup founder nor a salesperson, but I believe any of us could appreciate the contextualization of our own efforts. What is your endgame? And how can you pave the the most scalable road to your success?
There’s a saying that luck only gets better with success. I’d like to believe that after you reach critical mass and word-of-mouth, you manufacture your own luck.
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost).Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!
Friday last week, I jumped on a phone call with a founder who reached out to me after checking out my blog. In my deep fascination on how she found and learns from her mentors, she shed some light as to why she feels safe to ask stupid questions. The TL;DR of her answer – implicit trust, blended with mutual respect and admiration. That her mentors know that when she does ask a question, it’s out of curiosity and not willing ignorance – or naivety.
But on a wider scope, our conversation got me thinking and reflecting. How can we build psychological safety around questions that may seem dumb at first glace? And sometimes, even unwittingly, may seem foolish to the person answering. The characteristics of which, include:
A question whose answer is easily Google-able;
A question that the person answering may have heard too many times (and subsequently, may feel fatigue from answering again);
And, a question whose answer may seem like common sense. But common sense, arguably, is subjective. Take, for example, selling losses and holding gains in the stock market may be common sense to practiced public market investors, but may feel counter-intuitive to the average amateur trader.
We’re Human
But, if you’re like me, every so often, I ask a ‘dumb’ question. Or I feel the urge to ask it ’cause either I think the person I’m asking would provide a perspective I can’t find elsewhere or, simply, purely by accident. The latter of which happens, though I try not to, when I’m droning through a conversation. When my mind regresses to “How are you doing?” or the like.
To fix the latter, the simple solution is to be more cognizant and aware during conversations. For the former, I play with contextualization and exaggeration. Now, I should note that this isn’t a foolproof strategy and neither is it guaranteed to not make you look like a fool. You may still seem like one. But hopefully, if you’re still dying to know (and for some reason, you haven’t done your homework), you’re more likely to get an answer.
I’ve given myself the last two weeks to focus on introspection. Rediscovering cross sections of my life – crystallizing them in amber – to find where I can improve the most in. And in the process of doing so, I found inspiration in. I’ve known for a long time that I was, by no means, the smartest person out there. Arguably, my best ideas find the roots of their ‘originality’ in insights from others. From…
Friends
Founders
Investors
Subject-matter experts (SMEs)
Podcasts
YouTube videos
Academic journals
Blogs
And, really creative and really, really passionate people, where their passion is contagious.
… just to name a few.
But, that’s the best part!
Though it wasn’t my initial intention to do so, some of my favorite, most curiously introspective, most thought-provoking questions came from my guests during social experiments, particularly those who partook in Brunches with Strangers and Hidden Questions. Frankly, I can’t take credit for any of them. And just as I learned so much about them and myself from each, I hope you’ll be able to do the same. I don’t expect every question to resonate with you, but I suspect at least a small handful will. If so, my only ask is that you pay it forward in your own meaningful way.
Between 120+ guests between the two of the experiments, here are some of my favorite.
On Love and Emotions
When was the last time you said “I love you”?
When was the last time you wished you had said “I love you”, but didn’t or couldn’t?
Who was the last person you lost in your life that hurt you deeply (i.e. breakup, death, loss of friendship, etc.)?
When was the last time you uncontrollably cried?
When was the last time you genuinely smiled?
What emotion have you given an overemphasis on in the past year?
When was the last time you were disappointed in yourself? Why?
When was the last time you looked yourself in the mirror and thought “I’m killing it”?What might have sponsored that emotion?
On Lack Thereof
Is there someone you pretend to like but don’t? If so:
What is stopping you from sharing your thoughts candidly with them?
What is stopping you from liking them?
How many friendships do you regret having broken and never healed? Why?
On Candor to Others and Yourself
What are 2-3 things you look for in a person/friend before you are comfortable sharing a secret? How would you prioritize those 2-3 traits?
What are you dishonest to others about?
Why do you lie to yourself?
Over the past year, what have you gotten better at saying ‘no’ to?
What are some contrarian beliefs you hold deeply to be true?
(Also seen asked as) What is an unpopular opinion you have?
Who have you told? Or have you told anyone else?
If you could pass 1 value/trait down to your child(ren), what would it be?
If there was 1 trait that you could prevent your child(ren) from taking on, what would it be?
What is an unusual habit, or an absurd thing you love?
What is the best lie you ever told?
Do you believe it?
What is the most hurtful comment you once said, wrote, or expressed to another?
How often do you log on or log off of social media due to envy?
On Goals
Do(es) your long-term goal(s) scare you?
What’s the craziest thing you did for X?
Let X be any goal you’ve once had (i.e. job, relationship, family, grades, to learn, etc.)
What is something someone once said to you (good or bad) that keeps you motivated to this day?
What failure has set you up for success?
If you could title your own biographical movie, what would it be called? And what will it be called post-mortem?
What is your 10-year goal?
What’s stopping you from accomplishing it in 1 year?
If I held you at gunpoint, and told you that you had to reach this goal in 1 month, what do you have to do, starting from now?
If you could undo one decision you made in the future, what would that be?
What would you like to have written/said in your eulogy?
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost).Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!
Last week, I wrote a piece inspired by a conversation about diversity, and more importantly, the explicit and implicit biases we hold. And over the weekend, I’ve had some time to think. To think and introspect once again about the biases – explicit and implicit – that I hold. I was specifically reminded of an exercise I learned 2 years ago.
Snapping briefly back in time, one of the most creative and self-aware founders that I know – having just graduated from a top-tier startup accelerator, taught me a mindfulness exercise that he uses every year at the Burning Man camp he leads. I’ve used his framework not only to help myself surface my own unconscious incompetence, but also as the curtain call for a few of my social experiments. He starts with having people focus on their conscious self, then gradually begin to explore our subconscious:
“Take a few seconds to notice who stood out to you. Whom you liked. Who might have caught your fancy. Who you plan to meet up or hope to meet up with after today.
“Now, notice whom you just didn’t click well with. Whom you didn’t like. Who you won’t catch up with after today.
But what I found the most profound was his prompt for the last few minutes of the exercise:
“And finally notice who, for whatever reason, you didn’t notice at all. And pause… and ask yourself why you didn’t notice them.”
Like what the above did for me, I hope this exercise helps provide another frame of mind when considering who we unwittingly leave behind. Why we do so. And how we can shed light to our unconscious to bring to our conscious. Hopefully, in the process, expanding the upper and lower bounds of our cognitive bandwidth.
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost).Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow!
It was late that summer Friday evening. The sun had just crossed the horizon, changing the sky from blood orange red to a deeper indigo. Having put in 9000 yards, half of which were back-to-back sprints, we finally wrapped up our 2-hour practice, exhausted and slightly bewildered.
‘Twas our new coach’s first day on the job. We were expecting a chill practice, but this stranger made us work for it. And he did not beat around the bush. Relentless. In sum, he was the Gordon Ramsay of swimming.
Needless to say, he didn’t make the best impression on the team. And it was fair to say that some of my teammates were not his biggest fans. As they all shuffled out, and I had to wait for my parents to come pick me up from practice, I helped Coach with pulling the tarp covers over the pool.
Breaking the silence, he asks, “David, d’ya like to swim?”
“Of course,” I reflexively reply.
“Why d’ya like it?”
“It’s fun. I made friends. It helps me de-stress.”
“No.” And his next few words changed my perspective forever – both in swimming and in life. “You like to swim because you’ve won.”
Showing Gratitude
Obviously, in my prepubescent self, I took my coach’s comment for its face value. I like to swim because I’m good at it. Or at least, relatively speaking among my peers at that point in time. But as I grew older, that comment resonated with me on a different wavelength.
And a conversation with world-class hustler and founder of Fleeting (a company changing the landscape of trucking), Pierre*, last Friday reminded me exactly why. What I said then about why I liked to swim wasn’t completely wrong. I was able to achieve a moderate amount of success in the sport because my parents, coaches, teammates, and other friends supported and cheered for me. But I also forgot to thank one more for my accomplishments. The system itself.
Privilege of having access to coaches and supportive and ambitious teammates,
And, the seemingly minor technicalities,
My lane’s timers had faster reaction times compared to my competitor’s lane’s timers. For context, in regional meets, each lane would always have 3 timers each to record when you touched the wall on your finish, and they would take the median time as the final result.
My lane’s touchpad was working, but my competitor(s) may have had to rely on manual timers since their touchpad didn’t work. So, when it came down to close races and who touched the wall first, I would win.
Of course, there were moments I was a victim to said system as well. And I remember those moments far better than when I won as a result of the system.
So what?
The thing is, when everything is going my way, I often take it all for granted. One of the only times I realize and realized that there might be any flaws to the system are when I am left out. I have been and am a member of society that has profited from the systems – in swimming, in higher education, in work opportunities, just to name a few. And I’m sure there are even more I have yet to realize that I have benefited from.
The past few weeks have been a wake-up call to America, to the world, and to myself for what we have all let pass without questioning. And admittedly, it may be difficult to assess what explicit and implicit biases we have when we, in the words of Coach, are “winning”.
Diversity at the Table
So, it comes down to two fronts: internally and externally.
Internally, introspectively, let’s ask ourselves:
What have we won as a result of? And, what are we still winning in?
What have we benefited or profited from?
And just as there are winners, there exist still who have yet to win. Or win in a more consistent manner.
Externally, we need to bring into the fold those who have yet to win to help us assess what systemic flaws exist in our status quo. Frankly, it’s incredibly difficult to find our implicit biases alone. I know that I’ve been reminded multiple times in my life by those who are more cognizant in those arenas than I was and have been. And, those underrepresented and underestimated by the system can use all the help they can get.
Together, I’m confident we can find a better solution.
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost).Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups!
Looking outside my bedroom window, I watch as the limitless canopy above me slowly changes from a velvety warmth to a crisp blue. The morning jays chirp in a heavy New York accent, asking when the next metro will arrive. They fly by my window several times, stealing a glance at me. Thinking “we haven’t seen this fella at this time before”. Their eyes beckon as if I held the answer to their pressing question. I don’t.
I’m writing this piece with a heavy arm, due to the Wii Sports I played with the fam yesterday evening. All the while, feeling its weight as I sip the green tea my dad bought from who knows where. He brought back the small, unassuming brown bag to our household last year, with neither a name or a place to call home. From my friends in the business, they tell me that’s a sign of high quality leaves. ‘Wouldn’t that also be a sign of the exact opposite?’ But I never had the courage to ask. Ironically, my palate betrays my thoughts. A warm earthy coating enveloping my tongue, with an expected bitter finish. My culinary friend sent me a copy of The Flavor Bible 2 days ago. In it, I learned a simple math equation:
Flavor = Taste + Mouthfeel + Aroma + “The X Factor”
Right now, in this moment, I think I finally graduated from high school algebra.
Google tells me we’re hitting a summer 94 here today. This year I have yet to don a farmer’s tan. On the brighter side, I’ve spared my skin the horror of being overcooked. A few friends and neighbors have gone to orchards and vineyards to cherry pick and brought back the spoils of war. Some coming back more cherry-looking than the cherries themselves.
Another friend, elated with starting her boutique culinary business, sent me a couple bags of agar powder to experiment with, which I have yet to open. Today, after work, I’ll put them to good use. Or bad use, if my human guinea pigs crinkle their nose from my mad science experiments. Who knows?
Well, I’m headed downstairs now to start another great day. This time, with a beautiful sunny side up with dash of furikake, smoked paprika, and good ol’ S&P.
Why am I writing this? There’s been a concentration of negative energy surrounding us right now. And when I say ‘us’, I use the royal ‘us’ in a loose sense here. In these special, turbulent times, life’s become increasingly stressful. For a handful of my friends and family, it’s easy to find someone or something to blame. In some cases, there is a responsible party. But in most others, the ‘blame’, if we need to give the beast a name, is shared in a much broader sense. And we forget the beauty in our world. What we’re grateful for. What we have lived to see in another spectacular day.
And once again, I’m using the royal ‘we’.
Many of my colleagues use the Five Minute Journal App – short snapshots of daily gratitude. The first thing they do every morning. But I think I’ll stick to longer expositions.
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost).Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups!
I met a founder (let’s call him Stan) recently who was about to close on his first big executive hire into a team less than 10 strong. Naturally, I asked what the rest of his team thought of that person. Stan replied, “I haven’t asked them yet.”
So, I subsequently followed up, “Were they able to meet him?”
“He’s been by our office, and I’m sure he’s had the chance to chat with them already.”
When he said that, two things stuck out to me:
Stan’s use of “I’m sure…” implied neither that he was sure nor that he took care to verify.
He seemed to have skipped a fundamental step in building a team. And by transitive property, how it would define his team’s culture.
The Culinary Parallel
Synonymously, a day later, my friend asked me, “How do you come up with your ideas for flavor mad science?”
You’re probably here thinking: “What the hell does this have to do with team-building and culture?” But bear with me here. I swear there’s a parallel.
Although, like all of my ideas and insights, I can’t say any of my flavor experiments are truly original, I always start off at the drawing board with flavor maps. And, you guessed it! Not even the concept of flavor maps is original. A few years ago, an amazing chef taught me this very trick of how he concepts new recipes every season at his critically acclaimed restaurant.
So, what’s a flavor map?
The idea of a flavor map is to start with a core ingredient – the star of your dish. And then slowly add other flavors and elements onto your diagram one by one. The catch is that every new flavor you add has to pair well with every single other flavor on that diagram.
Two flavor maps where I used green tea as the (co-)core ingredient.
Personally, I just try to think of a dish that I enjoyed, or know many other people enjoy, as the basis for a drawing a line between a pair. The reason I do so is that many generations of experts before me have already done the legwork to make these flavors work. And I’m just iterating off of their discoveries.
The more scientific approach is through flavor networks – specifically food-pairing and food-bridging. In summary, food-pairings are when you combine two ingredients with the same flavor molecules, like cheese/bacon or asparagus/butter. The most bizarre one in a 2011 Harvard study is probably blue cheese/chocolate, which share 73 flavors. On the other hand, food-bridging is when you take two ingredients that don’t share any flavors, like apricots/whiskey, and bridge them with an ingredient that shares commonalities with both, like tomatoes.
Yong-yeol Ahn and his colleagues explore the nuances of flavors and recipes in their 2011 research, which you can find here. But if you want the abridged summary, there’s a great one on Frontiers. Yet, as one of the co-owners of a critically-acclaimed molecular gastronomic restaurant told me not too long ago, take the research with a grain of salt. Food science is still extremely nascent and lacks consistent data points, especially across cultures.
Looping Back
Just like a complete flavor map has all of its ingredients working in cohesion with one another, a strong team needs to hold the same level of trust and respect. I’m not advocating that you need to agree with everyone on your team. In fact, disagreement on warranted grounds is better. But to be a well-oiled machine, a team can only be agile if you reduce the unnecessary friction that may exist now or arise in the future.
Although it is important that every team member can ‘food-pair’ with every other member, what I believe is more important is to have a fair mitigation system to ‘food-bridge’ all current and future disagreements. A system to resolve disputes and to prioritize tasks at hand. To have not only trust in each other, but also in the system design.
The cherry on top
Of course, I don’t know if Stan just forgot to set up times for his team to meet with the potential hire between his various tasks of running a business. Or if he had something he wanted to hide from his team. Regardless, his decision, or I guess, lack thereof to do so, would be detrimental to the delicate string of trust that connected his team to him.
To his and every other founders’ credit, there are often matters that seem obvious to an observer, but less so, when one has skin in the game – some degree of emotional attachment. And the deeper one is in the weeds, the harder it may be to follow rational behavior. Loosely analogized to the boiling frog problem. That said, some actions are excusable. These can often be caught by either a mentor or a close friend/family member. But there are a handful that aren’t. The same can be said on a macroscopic perspective as well. Between friendships. Lovers. Coworkers. You name it.
And, luckily for Stan, this falls under the former.
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost).Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups!
Yesterday, having read my most recent blog post on social experiments, one of my friends asked me why I decided to finally start the blog. My simple answer was “to make myself obsolete”. The question that inevitably followed was:
“Why?”
Although not incredibly common, I’ve had a very small handful of friends and family ask me similar questions. All of which either directly ask or border “Why share all my secrets?”. Admittedly, all is subjective in this case, as I’m not keen on posting my social security or my social media log-in information on here.
Wouldn’t I be more competitive in this saturated (although I argue otherwise) market if I kept them to myself?
On a startup front, wouldn’t sharing the rationale of others and my own enable founders to “game the system?”
In response to (1), your competitive edge in the 21st century isn’t how many ideas you’ve hoarded, but how many you’ve executed on. And frankly, if we can cooperate to build a better world, why not?
For (2), if founders can “game the system” just by reading my blog, which requires them to have concrete evidence for growth and the questions fellow investors and I pose, well then, it’d be a great example of “faking it till they make it”. My blog merely provides a framework, plus a few stories, to how some of the smartest people around have overcome their obstacles. By the time the system tests them, I hope they’ll conquer the adversity in front of them and have the discipline to push forward.
What’s inside the black box?
I’m extremely happy to share “my” secrets. And I use the term secrets loosely, much like Peter Thiel does in his book Zero to One. In fact, the only reason I have any insight into life is that experienced experts were generous enough to share theirs with me. In other words, none of my insights are truly original. All are borrowed from the best, until I create a version that I resonate with more.
Simply put, if my ‘secrets’ and insights help even just one person out there to live a better life, then I’m a happy camper. My goal is to make the future a better place to live in. Oddly enough, it also happens to be one of the reasons I’m in venture capital. Only by sharing what I believe to be right and morally right am I able to help move the needle, if only by a little bit. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a huge fan of people going through the idea maze and spending time and effort on insight development. If I can help catalyze those motions in my readers through my blog, then I’ll toast to that.
The Flip Side
However, I should mention there are secrets that I will carry to the grave with me. For instance, outside of the obvious, like SSN and credit card info, ones that…
My friends/colleagues tell me in confidence,
Cause more harm than good in the world,
Cause more harm than good to the people around me,
Carry malicious intentions,
And/or reveal why I put OJ in my breakfast cereal.
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost).Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups!
