Category: Life

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How Entrepreneurship and Networking Are Synonymous With Each Other

A few days ago, I came across a question on Quora that sparked my interest. “What [is] the best network for developing entrepreneurship skills?” And I couldn’t help but backcast, as Mike Maples Jr. at Floodgate would call it, which I shared a bit more here. Looking at the entrepreneurs I know who have achieved some modicum of success, how did they build their entrepreneurial skills?

Taking it a bit further, what is one skill that they have that made all their other skills much easier to acquire and/or hone? And I could only come up with one answer, which is understood in various nominations. Resourcefulness. Scrappiness. Creativity under pressure. Staying lean. Frankly, their ability to hustle.

“The best network”

What is the best network for developing entrepreneurial skills?

The simple answer: One you build yourself.

The longer answer…

Entrepreneurship is a career that requires you to hustle. Likewise, a network you build yourself from reaching out and cold emailing has the potential to be stronger than even the best of networks out there. But entrepreneurship can come in two flavors: a hobby and a lifestyle.

A hobby or a lifestyle?

If entrepreneurship is a hobby, there are amazing collaborative:

  • Slack groups,
  • Subreddits,
  • Facebook groups,
  • Quora spaces,
  • Meetup groups,
  • Conferences/trade shows/expos,
  • You name it, it’s out there.

But it will be akin to sitting in a classroom and learning the theory and conceptualizations.

If entrepreneurship is a lifestyle, you need to learn by application. And unfortunately, you’ll need to develop scar tissue from making real mistakes outside the classroom. You need to hustle and find what works and doesn’t work for you. Two of my favorite venture firms, 1517 Fund and Hustle Fund, invest in founders who do exactly that. Unlike many other venture funds, it’s in their thesis. Learn by doing. Learn by hustling. While there is merit in literature and academic institutions, you are learning at the pace of the system. And when you’re a founder, often times, time is not on your side.

In a parallel, an entrepreneur once described the bifurcation as a “lean-back” versus a “lean-in” activity. A “lean-back” activity would be watching a sitcom, picking strawberries, or typing a simple response to an email chain. Whereas a “lean-in” would be playing football, playing a competitive first-person shooter game, or fixing a bug in the code 2 hours before a product launch. Entrepreneurship, as you might guess, is a “lean-in” sport. So is networking.

There are two French words I often allude to – savoir and connaître. Both mean to understand. Savoir means to understand on a superficial, factual level. Connaître means to know on a deeper, emotional level – to be deeply familiar with. As an entrepreneur, the lifestyle you choose is often not passive, but an active one, or some might argue, an aggressive one. One where the clock started ticking before you started. Sometimes, before you were even born. Ben Horowitz makes a brilliant comparison between a peacetime and a wartime CEO. From his piece, I’ll quote two of his juxtapositions:

“Peacetime CEO knows that proper protocol leads to winning. Wartime CEO violates protocol in order to win.”

“Peacetime CEO has rules like ‘we’re going to exit all businesses where we’re not number 1 or 2.’  Wartime CEO often has no businesses that are number 1 or 2 and therefore does not have the luxury of following that rule.”

Where you’re required to make decisions in difficult times, and if you don’t understand a concept or a skill to the level where it’s engrained in your bone, you will fumble more often than you run touchdowns. Part of the reason why second-time, third-time entrepreneurs usually perform better than first-time entrepreneurs.

I graduated from a stellar university, UC Berkeley, located at one of the epicenters of Silicon Valley/Bay Area, where I got my economics degree and a certification in entrepreneurship and technology. I took a number of classes that allowed me “to learn and hone” my entrepreneurship skills. While there were a handful, I came out feeling I was equipped with the knowledge to take on the world. When I put them to the test, I realized I knew nothing. When faced with reality, I didn’t know how to deal with edge cases since edge cases are rarely taught in the classroom.

Most communities and classes teach entrepreneurship skills in abstractions, making it easier to understand. Even this blog post is, in many ways, an abstraction. They rarely teach the edge cases ’cause frankly, there are too many “what if’s”. But as an entrepreneur, you need to be ready for the “what if’s”. For anything and everything. And over time, what transcends the individual skills you have is having a mental model to hedge yourself from future edge cases.

I once asked someone what being an expert meant. And I really liked his answer, as it stuck with me all these years. He said, “An expert is someone who has made all the mistakes in a very narrow field.”

Photo by Jed Villejo on Unsplash

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Fantastic Unicorns and Where to Find Them

As a venture scout and as someone who loves helping pre-seed/seed startups before they get to the A, I get asked this one question more often than I expect. “David, do you think this is a good idea?” Most of the time, admittedly, I don’t know. Why? I’m not the core user. I wouldn’t count myself as an early adopter who could become a power user, outside of pure curiosity. I’m not their customer. To quote Michael Seibel of Y Combinator,

… “customers are the gatekeepers of the startups world.” Then comes the question, if customers are the gatekeepers to the venture world, how do you know if you’re on to something if you’re any one of the below:

  • Pre-product,
  • Pre-traction,
  • And/or pre-revenue?

This blog post isn’t designed to be the crystal ball to all your problems. I have to disappoint. I’m a Muggle without the power of Divination. But instead, let me share 3 mental models that might help a budding founder find idea-market fit. Let’s call it a tracker’s kit that may increase your chances at finding a unicorn.

  1. Frustration
  2. The highly fragmented industry with low NPS
  3. Right on non-consensus
Continue reading “Fantastic Unicorns and Where to Find Them”
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#unfiltered #31 The Art of Running into Walls – How to Confront Fear and Fear-Setting

Last night, I happened to re-stumble across a sentence in my collection of quotes that caught my eye.

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”

– Walter Bagehot
Journalist, businessman, essayist

The founder story

I’ve had this long-standing belief – which if you’re a regular reader of this blog, you’re no stranger to – that founders need to have a personal vendetta when building a business. They must have something to prove or someone they’d want to prove to. Building a business is finding where selfishness meets selflessness. In fact, I’d argue that’s true in every ideal professional career.

The path of entrepreneurship is one where resilience is the floor, not the ceiling. While I understand, it is not the only career path that carries this trait, it is the one I am most familiar with. And having asked 31 people, 18 of which are or have been entrepreneurs, I’ve learned that everyone, despite their job title or background, can be scared in the face of obstacles. Everyone feels fear, myself included. The question is what do we do next, after the feeling of fear enters our heart and mind.

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The Letters and Passages #1 – Room by Emma Donoghue

Note: I don’t know how many of these book reactions I’ll write. I don’t know how frequently I’ll write these either. But I do know that when I do write one, it’ll have changed my life, my thoughts… me – in a meaningful way.

The Preface

My friend, an extremely well-read fiction purist, highly recommended this book to me, a non-fiction purist, one beautiful Monday evening. She said if there was only one book I had to read when it came to fiction, it had to be this one. I asked her what it was about. She said only one word: “Perspective.”

Moreover, she prohibited me from doing any research online (as I like to do) or even reading the summary on the back cover. To date, it is the only book I’ve read not having done any homework on it whatsoever. And I’m glad I didn’t.

What I learned was much more than I could have ever hoped for. Throughout my read of Room, I had a constant reminder of what Josh Waitzkin, author, chess champion, and martial arts champion, said February this year on Episode #412 of the Tim Ferriss Show:

“When I studied Tai Chi for a year, I thought I knew what I was doing. And I thought I was really started to understand it. But after 2 years, I realized everything I thought after a year was wrong. It was just wrong. But now I understood.

And then after 4 years, I realized everything I thought after 2 years was wrong. And he went on with this story and this pattern, but now I understood. And after 8 years, everything I thought after 4 years was wrong. And now I’ve been training for 16 years; everything I thought after 8 years was wrong. And now, I finally understand…

It’s easy to think we’re in the dark yesterday, but in the light today. But we’re in the dark today too.”

Room by Emma Donoghue

I will warn that in this section, I will reveal some light spoilers. If you want to save that experience for yourself, feel free to jump to the epilogue of this post.

“‘Scared is what you’re feeling,’ says Ma, ‘but brave is what you’re doing.'” (116)

The first 100 pages were cute and endearing. Slowly, but surely, over the course of a week, I learned of the world inside an 11-by-11-foot space, from the eyes, ears, and the imagination of young Jack. To me, they were slow. Yet, each time Jack’s Ma shared one additional layer of perspective – another reference point, another anchor – I felt thrown back into square one. Seeing the 11-by-11 world again in new eyes.

The next 100 pages happened before I had a chance to blink. All before the hour was up. Yet only a mere 48 hours passed in the timeline of Jack’s world.

The final 100 pages, for the first time, I began to contextualize Jack’s world to mine. How much I take for granted. The small things. The ephemeral nature of life. But also how quickly I, like much of the world, tend to jump to conclusions when given only a fraction of the bigger picture. The me was exemplified in all the other characters in these 100 pages.

It’s a beautiful story – one I didn’t think I’d like. 10 pages in. It was just another book. 20 pages. It was just another book. 30. 40. 50. And so on. But on page 82, it went from another book to THE book.

The Epilogue

Perspective. It’s something I think the world could always use a little more of. There’s 7.8 billion people on this planet. One of eight bodies in this solar system. One of many interstellar objects and phenomena out there.

I’m writing in one of 6909 languages used in the world today. A participant in one, maybe two, of over 3800 cultures in this world. Both I’m sure are underestimations. Yet, everyone’s living a life I seemingly know nothing about.

Once again, I’m reminded of the answer one of my high-schoolmates wrote in his college application. A brilliantly concise one, to the question: What is a problem that exists in the world right now?

He wrote: “Ignorance. I know nothing about it.”

While the book doesn’t aim to answer all your existential questions, it does shed light into the simplicities and complexities in our world. And how often we tend to overlook each. Taking each as granted.

The world is in turmoil these days. A revolution of emotions. A war on beliefs. We spend so much time speaking our thoughts. Yet, not as much time listening to others’. As someone in the intelligence world once told me, “The most effective kind of communication is listening, not speaking. And listening is not just hearing.” Hearing is just letting audible sound transmit through the air. Listening is paying attention to the words and the context that follow another’s intentions.

So, I’ll end with Ma’s words on page 217. “That’s why God gave you a mouth to breathe through.”

Room, by Emma Donoghue, a book that reminded me that in exhaling I often forget to inhale.

The Letters and Passages is a series where I share my raw thoughts on the books, letters, passages, and the literature I come across. Those that inspire me. Those that change my perspective. And those that resonate the most. So much so, you might realize that the headings are in violet rather than the usual cyan blue.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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#unfiltered #30 Inspiration and Frustration – The Honest Answers From Some of the Most Resilient People Going through a World of Uncertainty

A few weeks ago, around the time I published Am I At My Best Right Now?, I started noticing more and more that my friends, colleagues, and people that I’ve met since were going through tough times. Two lost a family member. Some were laid off. Two were forced to leave this land I call home. Four broke up. Three burned out. Countless more told me they were stressed and/or depressed, and didn’t know how to escape this limbo. After I published that post, another handful of people also reached out and courageously shared the troubles they are going through now. How it’s been so hard to share with others. And yesterday, while editing this blog post, I found out that one of my high school friends had passed.

Inspiration and Frustration

During this time, I had a thought: Frustration is the absence of inspiration. There were many times in my own life when I was beating myself up because I couldn’t think of a solution. And a small percent of those times, I didn’t even bother to think of a solution since I was so engrossed in my frustration with myself.

In these unprecedented times and inspired by the conversations around me, I decided to show that we’re not alone. So, I asked people who I deeply respect and who could shed light as to what it means to be human. I asked just two questions, but they were only allowed to answer one of them:

  1. What is the one thing that inspires you so much that it makes everything else in life much easier to bear?
  2. What is stressing/frustrating you so much right now that it seems to invalidate everything else you’re doing?

In turn, they responded via email, text, or on a phone call. Of the 49 I asked, so far, 31 responded with their answers. 4 politely turned me down due to their busy schedules. Another one turned me down because she didn’t feel like she could offer value in her answer.

26 responded with what inspires them. 5 with what frustrates them. All of whom I know has been through adversity and back.

Admittedly, the hardest part about this study was how I was going to organize all these responses. Unlike the one about time allocation I did over a month ago, where I knew exactly how to organize the data before I even got all the responses, this one, I really didn’t know how to best illustrate the candor everyone shared. In fact, I would be doing a disservice to them, if reduced their honesty and courage to be vulnerable to mere numbers. So, in the end, below, I let everyone speak for themselves. Sometimes, simplicity is the best.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to making this blog post happen, including Brad Feld, Mars Aguirre, Shayan Mehdi, Thomas Owen, Chris Lyons, Mark Leon, Jamarr Lampart, Christen Nino De Guzman, Louis Q Tran, Sam Marelich, Dr. Kris Marsh, Quincy Huynh, DJ Welch, Jimmy Yue, and many, many more heroes who helped me and the world around us behind the curtains.

Continue reading “#unfiltered #30 Inspiration and Frustration – The Honest Answers From Some of the Most Resilient People Going through a World of Uncertainty”
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#unfiltered #29 “Keep up the good work”

The weekend before the last, my friend “Jamie” reached out to me on Facebook and said:

“David, I know you’re going through a tough time. You may not recognize it yourself, or maybe you think other’s aren’t, but I do. Amazing job! Keep up the good work!”

While even alone, I was and am extremely grateful, it was his next line that made me the most content:

“Don’t worry about responding. I just want you to know you have complete support.”

You see, I never told “Jamie” what I was going through. I can only assume it came to his attention via my previous blog post or by way of a mutual friend or another reader. Regardless, what he said could not have come at a better time. So, I couldn’t help but thank him. I told him he had no idea how much it meant to me. Last weekend, I reached back out to him and asked how could I thank him and if there’s anything I could help him with. He said:

“Don’t worry about me. If you’re really thankful, pay it forward. Pay it forward to your friends whom you think need it the most.”

I did. And my friends reacted similarly.

While the goal isn’t to get any responses, reach out to some of the people in your life that may be going through some tough times. Let them know you’re there for them. Let them know that you appreciate them. And let them know what they’re doing means something.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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#unfiltered #28 The Little Things

morning, the little things

Over the past few weeks, California has been plagued with wildfire after wildfire. It got me really thinking about what I miss.

I had a birthday resolution to run more to achieve a sub-5 mile by running in my neighborhood regularly. I used to manually water the plants in our backyard, especially my kumquat blossoms that finally bloomed after 2 years. And, I used to keep my windows open so that fresh air could fill the house.

The smell of dew and the brush of chill in the morning. The smell of freshly-cut grass in the afternoon. And the evening dinner aromas that pervaded our cute suburbia.

Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. When the smog came to our neighborhood, I no longer had that luxury. Rather, I spent my time indoors, and a few days back I wrote this in my journal.

The Little Things

Silence of the jay,
Crimson ochre dyed the sky,
Tumbleweed astray.

New kumquat blossoms
Birthed from labor, yet scorched by
Ashen canopy.

A resolve to run,
Yet I am basking under
A bright midnight sun.

Taken for granted,
A life I thought I knew well
And now much better.

Inspired by the lost
Cherished more when found, come forth
Will the little things.

Appreciating life

What else do I take for granted? What else will I deeply miss when I no longer have but aren’t fully appreciating now?

The first answer that comes into my head – the people around me. My family and my friends.

Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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#unfiltered #27 The Impetus of My Social Experiments – Higher Research and the Application to Startups

bunny, egg, curiosity, curious, social experiments

People seem to love origin stories – both in theatre and in life.

“How did it all start?”

“How did you get into this career?”

Or…

“How did you meet your wife/husband?”

And well, I can’t say I’m one to push back on that.

There’s something truly magical about “Once upon a time…”. And I’m no stranger to fairy tales. Growing up, I was largely influenced by older female cousins and family friends. As soon as our parents left to their wine-sipping adult gossip around a table of blackjack, my cousins and older female friends would drag us to watch their favorite Disney movies on the VCR, namely princess movies. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve seen Beauty and the Beast more than 100 times or Cinderella more than 50 times. In fact, my friends in elementary school would talk about their favorite movies – Transformers, LEGO Bionicles, Peter Pan, and Tarzan. Yet, mine was Disney’s 1998 Mulan.

And they all started with “Once upon a time…”

So, it was no surprise when friends, colleagues, and then strangers started asking me:

“How/when/why did you start hosting social experiments?”

Continue reading “#unfiltered #27 The Impetus of My Social Experiments – Higher Research and the Application to Startups”
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#unfiltered #26 Am I At My Best Right Now?

I’ve been debating for the longest time whether I should put out this post or not. Not only does it require me to “open up about the potholes“, as Jeff Wald puts it, I’m not sure how I should be feeling. Or maybe I do, but I’m just not willing to admit it to myself.

Last week, I read Brad Feld‘s post, “Are You At Your Best Right Now?“. And it was the final push that gave me the courage to write this. After all, this wouldn’t be a member of the #unfiltered series if I wasn’t sharing my raw thoughts.

Am I at my best right now?

I’ve had the long standing belief that if I’m not making any new mistakes, then I’m not taking risks.

And if I’m not taking risks, I’m not improving.

For the past 6 months of quarantine, I haven’t made any mistakes… neither ones I’m proud of nor severely regret. Half of which I believe most people could do without. Though I don’t set myself up for mistakes that I think are foolhardy from the get-go, I am not learning if I don’t make any mistakes at all. I’m not talking about mistakes that I make without a second thought of regret. Like drinking 7 cups of water today, rather than 8. Or forgetting to put up the toilet seat. Or a grammatical error in my writing.

I’m talking about mistakes that have defined, define, and will define my life’s trajectory. Inflection points that draw our life’s story on a once blank canvas.

My pursuit of ‘the best’ prior

In my first two years of college, I made many mistakes as an operator, as a friend, and to my promises. I over-promised and under-delivered. I let a friend I really respected and cared for down. To the organizations I was lucky to be a part of, I juggled too many things at once, thinking multi-tasking was an attribute of pride and prestige.

In my third year of college, I took networking to a new level. And along the way, burned bridges in my persistence and lack of awareness.

In my fourth year, drained from the relentless ego contest, I took a step back to reflect and be more candid than I gave myself the liberty to previously. In my pursuit of honesty, once again but in a different context, I didn’t consider the impact of my words with a handful of friends.

In graduating, I took a risk to not accept the offers I had on the table – some of which I know people would fight for. I chose a path that I felt I wouldn’t regret in the then amazing upside of the economy.

In the years following, I made bets to be at places, to be with people, and to learn from them that I had doubts other platforms would provide. In retrospect, some more foolish than others. Placing trust and hope that some of my friends who knew considered in ill faith.

But every time I learned.

I became a stronger person than when I went in.

Now

These days when friends, colleagues, and strangers ask “How are you doing?” or “How have you been?”, I’ve become my own worst nightmare.

“I’m fine.”

“I’m okay.”

While I’m not lying, I hate myself the moment I utter those words. First how much it’s become a knee jerk reaction. But secondly, and more importantly, how much hasn’t changed since the pandemic.

Like many of my friends and colleagues, and I’m sure, many more on this planet, I had 2020 plans. Plans to take risks and make mistakes. Unfortunately, for one reason or another, many of them have been put on a stalemate. At the same time, I know many of my friends aren’t doing well. From breakups to layoffs to the impending doom of deportation to deaths in the family, I feel like I should be the last person to complain.

In closing

I want to be clear. I’m not looking for pity here. But I want you to know. It’s okay. You’re not alone. While we all are feeling a different magnitude of emotions now, you’re not alone, when “I’m okay” belies what we’re all feeling right now. I can’t speak for others, but I am not at my best right now.

If you need someone to talk to or just someone to listen, I’m here.

Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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#unfiltered #25 Meeting the Curiously Passionate and the Passionately Curious – The Why and The Where

travel, meeting people, rabbi sacks

“It’s the people not like us who make us grow.”

– Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks on The Tim Ferriss Show Ep. #455

I recently tuned into, at the time of writing this post, Tim Ferriss’ third most recent podcast episode, interviewing Rabbi Sacks. Although I’m a regular listener to the show, I wasn’t expecting much. I neither have a history of being religious nor spiritual – merely peripheral curiosity. Yet, I don’t hesitate for one second to say: It is, by far, one of the most insightful and enlightening podcast episodes I’ve heard in 2020. So, if you have a spare 1.5 hours, I highly recommend it, especially if you’re looking for a perspective shift on:

  • Leadership,
  • Seeking peer approval,
  • What a single cold “call”/visit could get you,
  • And the need for “cultural climate change” in the understanding between the balance of “I” and “we”.

And Rabbi Sacks masterfully weaves these concepts together. While my reaction will never do his insights justice, two other thoughts, each paired with their own story, I had to double click on:

“Good leaders create followers, great leaders create leaders.”

“What happens when you’re in a situation in which you have done something that has generated widespread disapproval? How do you deal with that?

“Win the respect of the people you respect.”

And I digress.

The Bubble

I’ve lived my entire life so far in the Bay Area, barring a few vacations and excursions here and there. I was born here. I went through 12 years of grade school here. 13 if you count kindergarten. And though I had the option of leaving the Bay for college, I ended up choosing a school here as well. Truth be told, I might as well have “Made in the Bay” stamped on my forehead.

I live in a bubble. But I know I breathe in one. Not just geographically, but educationally, racially, sexually, socioeconomically, and so on.

Being a shy introvert pre-adulthood didn’t help with broadening my perspective on life either. I still remember the days in high school when I dreaded the teacher calling on me. Clammy palms, cold sweat, rigid spine. I would never vocally question disagreement. Equally, I would rather be a people pleaser than cause what I deemed to be unnecessary friction. I was a seafood hors d’ouevres of perturbation.

So, by inspiration from a mentor, I took actionable steps to conquer my own demons. Meet one new person you’re extremely excited to meet every single week for a year.

While I still carry the artifacts of myself yesterday, learning to balance myself between the person I thought and think I needed to become and the person I was, I began my journey 6 years ago.

The Pop in the Bubble

I’d be fronting if I said I wasn’t scared shitless when I began. Though I don’t think everyone in the world has this dilemma, I’m confident I am not alone. I had and have all these scenarios playing in my head. A bunch of ‘what-ifs’. What if they think I’m too nosy? What if they don’t have time to respond? Or what if they hate me for bothering them?

They say it gets better over time. And they’re not wrong. But I still have that lingering, gnawing feeling whenever I click send or put myself out there. While, over the years, the fears never fully dissipated, I’ve learned to tango with discomfort. In the words of my mentor who inspired my journey:

“You’re never as good as they say you are, but you’re also not as bad as they say you are. And hell, you can’t even be bad if they don’t even know who you are.”

… which I believe he drew inspiration from Lou Holtz. Shortly after, I clicked the “Send” button at the bottom of my first ‘curiosity’ email. After all, like he said, what’s the worst that can happen? Getting ignored. And as such, I would be no better nor worse off than I was and am in that cross section in time. With that assurance, it eventually led me to find my cold email “template” and hosting social experiments, like Brunches with Strangers.

The Where

Over the past few weeks, a few new people asked me: “Where do you find these people to reach out to?” Although it’s not the first and I assume certainly not the last, I thought I’d share in the form of this post as a possible inspiration for how we can grow, if I were to paraphrase Rabbi Sacks.

While I don’t characterize myself as a voracious reader, I allot time every day and have found many of my Senseis in the form of literature and discourse – online and offline, printed and taped, and in-person and remote. Including:

  • Books
  • Online articles/press releases
  • Newsletters
  • YouTube videos
  • Movies
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars/fireside chats
  • Textbooks
  • And, other people

One level deeper

To look beyond my own horizon, I tune into Pocket‘s Discover tab, or a platform I’ve recently fallen in love with, Readocracy. You can check out what online reading I’ve been up to lately on my Readocracy profile. And I can’t wait, when I can start tracking the books I read and the podcasts I listen to on there. I’m also fortunate enough to have friends who read, write, listen, and socialize with different social and professional circles than I do and am in. And as I meet more people, the spectrum of topics and interests snowball upon each other, as we help each other see new perspectives – some of which we never thought were possible.

Admittedly, where I find who to reach out to is, by no means, special or esoteric. In topics, I look into ones I’m genuinely interested in, in that moment and predictably beyond, even if it’s only a month or two, as promiscuous as I might be for many. In my short phases of promiscuity, I nevertheless take deep dives. Deep, yet often, not long. At the same time, I have a small handful of evergreen interests, like:

  • The art and science of building relationships,
  • The art of creating irreplaceable memories,
  • Psychology and mental models,
  • Swimming and intense athleticism,
  • Art as a multi-faceted definition,
  • Startups,
  • Technology and what lies at its frontier,
  • The final frontier – outer space and its cosmological inhabitants,
  • And the future.

In people, I look for two things:

  1. Inflection points in their life. Oxymorons/ironies. Overt and covert contradictions.
    • If I were to make assumptions given their initial attributes (i.e. education, age, gender, geography, career, life choices/circumstances, etc.), would I have been able to predict where they are now?
    • Of course, in making these assumptions, it is also my responsibility to be aware and to tread carefully where I should. Unfortunately, ignorance is not an excuse. If I’m unsure, I err on the side of caution.
  2. Deep intellectual curiosity and passion. Whom I call the passionately curious and the curiously passionate.

In closing

While I’m prone to talking too much at times, during these moments, it is my duty and the highest form of respect I can offer, to listen. If I were to take it from a selfish note, I learn so much more when I listen. And in actively listening, and actively checking my biases, to respond with thoughtful questions.

So, I’ll close on more thing Rabbi Sacks said in his recent interview with Tim Ferriss:

“Safe space means that courteous discipline of respectful listening.”

Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

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