Category: Life

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#unfiltered #38 Warren Zevon, Hockey, and Ambition

Having lived under the proverbial rock for most of my adult life from music, I recently learned of the late Warren Zevon. Particularly in his last appearance on his friend David Letterman’s show in 2002. He had been diagnosed with terminal mesothelioma. In other words, lung cancer, with about a year to live.

Letterman asked him one rather profound question, “From your perspective now, do you know something about life and death that maybe I don’t know now?”

And Zevon responds back with an equally, if not more profound answer, “Not unless I know how much-… how much you’re supposed to enjoy every sandwich.”

Needless to say, I was quite intrigued, which I wasn’t shy about sharing with my friends. One of such conversations was with my mentor. Someone who had followed Zevon’s career with a higher-powered magnifying glass than I did. And, he said, if I were to truly appreciate Zevon’s craft, I had to listen to his song Hit Somebody!.

Hit Somebody!

The song is about Buddy, a Canadian farm boy, scouted to be a goon, whose role on the hockey team is to defend the the top scorers of the team. Needless to say, dirty and violent play is part of the job description. While Buddy greatly distinguishes himself in his role, even to be hailed as the “king of the goons”, he wishes to be someone greater.

“Coach,” he’d say, “I wanna score goals”
The coach said, “Buddy, remember your role
The fast guys get paid, they shoot, they score
Protect them, Buddy, that’s what you’re here for

[…]

He never lost a fight on his icy patrol
But deep inside, Buddy only dreamed of a goal
He just wanted one damn goal

After “twenty years of waiting”, one game, he finally gets the chance. He shoots. And he scores, after getting dropped to the ice by a Finnish goon. And in his dying breath, in a poetic sense of wordplay.

‘Cause the last thing he saw
was the flashing red light
He saw that heavenly light

My thoughts

We often identify ourselves by our job title. In college by our major. In grade school by our grades and extracurriculars. By our past accomplishments, and not enough on those to come. We’re so often trapped in our own microcosm of “rules” and labels. Rules either society has reinforced or rules that we have capped our own potential with.

But that is exactly why I bet on people who live in the future. Because those ambitious enough to dream are the ones who are most likely going to turn those dreams into reality.

That is exactly why I bet on founders. Founders who are like Buddy. Those who don’t let conventional wisdom sway their ability to dream. Those who don’t let titles and labels parameterize their ability to act on dreams.

I, admittedly, don’t follow hockey closely. And some of the jargon in Zevon’s song, I had to do a double take with my mentor and Google. But I can’t help but appreciate the clever choice of words as well as the emotional impact in the lyrics. Which makes sense for Hit Somebody! and Warren Zevon to have a cult following in the international hockey community.

Photo by Aliane Schwartzhaupt on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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The Four Traits of World-Class Startup Founders

Proportionally speaking, I rarely make referrals and intros. Numerically speaking, I set up more intros than the average person. Frankly, if I made every intro that people have asked of me, I’d be out of social capital. It’s not to say I’m never willing to spend or risk my social capital. And I do so more frequently than most people might find comfortable. In fact, the baseline requirement for my job is to be able to put my neck on the line for the startups I’m recommending. The other side of the coin is that I’ve made more than a few poor calls in my career so far. That is to say, I’m not perfect.

I only set up intros if I can see a win-win scenario. A win for the person who wants to get introduced. And a win for the person they will be introduced to. The clearer I can see it, the easier the intro is to make. The less I can, the more I look for proxies of what could be one.

This largely has been my framework for introducing founders to investors, as well as potential hires, partners, and clients. Over the years, I realized that I’ve also been using the same for people who would like an intro to someone above their weight class.

Below I’ll share the 4 traits – not mutually exclusive – of what I look for in world-class founders.

  1. Insatiable curiosity
  2. Bias to action
  3. Empathy
  4. Promise fulfillment
Continue reading “The Four Traits of World-Class Startup Founders”
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The Frequency of the 3 Types of Mentors

I wrote an essay about the three types of mentors exactly a year ago. Peer. Tactical. Strategic.

  • Peer mentor – Someone who has a similar level of experience as you do in a given field.
  • Tactical mentor – Someone who is 2-5 years ahead in experience, and someone who can check your blind side. Because they have gone through similar situations as you are currently going through not too long ago, they can provide context as to the variables (core and confounding) involved.
  • Strategic mentor (which I formerly called veteran mentor) – Someone who has attained success in a particular field as you would define it. While they won’t be able to help you in the play-by-play, they can provide the bigger picture – the macroscopic view. Assessing and reassessing your long-term goals – your true north.

Rocks, pebbles, sand

Many of you might be no stranger to the rocks, pebbles, sand analogy. As the metaphor goes, if your life were a jar, you’d want to fill it with rocks first, then pebbles, then sand. If you start off filling your life with sand, you will have no more space for rocks and pebbles. Similarly, if you start filling it with pebbles, you will only have space left for sand, but not rocks. Analogized, rocks are your life and career’s most important projects and milestones. Pebbles are the smaller projects that lend itself to the whole, some of which you could do without. Sand represents the day-to-day, week-to-week ups and downs.

Rocks

Strategic mentors are most useful once a year (or at best 2-3 times/year) to see if you’re aligned with your goals. They help you set the large milestones you want to accomplish in your life.

  • What matters?
  • What doesn’t?

Pebbles

Tactical mentors, you seek after you come up with a few solutions/hypotheses that you would like to test. You don’t seek them as often, but they can help provide context to what you’re going through now, largely from their own experience having gone through it recently.

  • What variables am I overlooking or underestimating their effects on the outcome? Or simply put, what could go wrong?

Sand

You seek peer mentors before you come up with your solution and in problem-solving mode. These are the mentors you’re going to be spending the most time with. And most likely, the most abundant category of your mentors.

  • How would you attempt to resolve this dilemma? What would you do if you were in my shoes?
  • What are new, innovative ways I can use to tackle this problem?

While they vary in their sizes, each rock, pebble and sand is necessary to live your most fulfilling life.

In closing

Over the years, I’ve had the great fortune of having some amazing mentors and mentor figures that have shone me the proverbial light when alone, I may have struggled to find. Yet equally so, I’ve met their antithesis. Luckily very few, but nevertheless. People who don the mantle of being a mentor, but cannot tolerate your success when you surpass them. The latter I met years ago when I indiscriminately and naively sought out mentors, for the pure sake of just having “mentors”. Arguably, as a foolhardy contest of ego and pride, specifically to compensate my feelings of ineptitude.

A mentor like a friend is someone who is happier and wishes for your success than sometimes you do for yourself. Often, independent of their own escape velocity. Simply put, they invest in your success. And of course with that pretext, they are a scarcity. Even of those are willing and free enough to be mentors, given the volume of their inbound, understandably, their response rate is exceedingly low.

While that fact shouldn’t deter you from seeking mentorship, it makes me cherish the time, effort, and advice I have been fortunate enough to receive.

In the words of Tom Landry, legendary head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, “A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, so you can be who you have always known you could be.”

Photo by Anas Belmadani on Unsplash

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2020 Year in Review

I’ve written 102 essays on this blog in the past year, plus some change, spending an average of 1-2 hours per piece and a range from 30 minutes to 2 weeks. An average of 1,200 words per post. While not mutually exclusive, over half of which were on startup topics. One in three described the venture capital landscape. 36 (excluding #0) #unfiltered blog posts, where I share my raw, unfiltered thoughts about anything and everything. 16 on mental health. A surprising 13 on cold emails and its respective ecosystem. And my first public book review. Some didn’t age well, like The Marketplace of Startups. Some will stay evergreen.

25% of my blog posts I started writing at least 48 hours before the publish date. 1 in every 3 (-ish) of the afore-mentioned, I rewrote because I didn’t like the flow. For every 2 essays I wrote, 1 of which I had to wrestle deeply with the thought of imperfection. In effect, half of my essays were a practice to overcome my own mental stigma of “writer’s block.” Yet after over a year of writing, I realize that I’ve become prouder of my writing than when I started.

So, as the year is transitioning into the next, I thought I’d take some time to reflect on my growth 100 (+2) posts after starting this blog. Let’s call them superlatives.

Top 10 most popular

Ranked by total views per post, the 10 posts readers visit the most.

  1. #unfiltered #30 Inspiration and Frustration – The Honest Answers From Some of the Most Resilient People Going through a World of Uncertainty – I asked 31 people I deeply respect to share some of their greatest drivers and darkest moments in life and how they got through them. You can find part 2 here with 10 more thoughts.
  2. My Cold Email “Template” – My friends have asked me for years what I write in my cold emails, and now, what and how I write my cold outreaches are available for your toolkit.
  3. Fantastic Unicorns and Where to Find Them – An essay on the parameters and the mental models investors use to find “unicorn” startup ideas.
  4. When Investor Goodwill Backfires – What It Means to be Founder-Friendly and Founder-Investor Fit – How founders can do investor diligence before signing the term sheet and also how to best manage founder-investor dynamics
  5. #unfiltered #24 How long do you take to prepare for a talk? – A Study about Time Allocation
  6. How to Build Fast and Not Break (As Many) Things – A Startup GTM Playbook
  7. 10 Letters of Thanks to 10 People who Changed my Life – Every holiday season I write thank you letters to the people I deeply respect. It’s one of the best times of the year to reconnect. These are the letters I wrote in 2019. Here are also some I wrote this year for more context.
  8. #unfiltered #18 Naivety vs Curiosity – Asking Questions, How to Preface ‘Dumb’ Questions, Tactics from People Smarter than Me, The Questions during Founder-Investor Pitch
  9. #unfiltered #11 What I Learned About Building Communities through Social Experiments – Touching Jellyfish, Types of Social Experiments, The Thesis, Psychological Safety and Fairness
  10. The Marketplace of Startups – While many of the remarks on this blog post are now obsolete, largely incited by the 2020 Black Swan event – COVID, the two questions at the end of the blog post are the two I still like to ask founders today.

Personal favorites

While not every one of these got the limelight I had hoped, each of these are ones I felt great pride in being able to write on.

Most challenging to write

I had been wrestling with how vulnerable I can allow myself to be in the public space. Writing this post was frightening, but I’m glad I did. It cascaded into deeper conversations with my friends, colleagues and readers, but also inspired more blog posts after this about mental health.

#unfiltered #26 Am I At My Best Right Now?

In closing

I first started this blog with the intention of chronicling my own learnings in the amazing world of venture. While I couldn’t guarantee it would be helpful to every individual reading my humble meandering, I could, at least, guarantee what I write has been or continues to be instructive for me.

Within the first month it had evolved into an FAQ and a means to provide value to as many founders as I can when one day the number of people I want to help exceed my available bandwidth. Wishful thinking at the time, but a cause that inspired me forward. After the first six months, with the introduction of the #unfiltered series, I began to write to think – a way to flush out simple, unrefined ideas to more robust concepts. While I’ll forever be a work in progress, I began to make new dendrite connections that never existed before. In a way, I was and am still chronicling my own journey in hopes that it will continue to guide people beyond my immediate sphere of influence.

Thank you, each and every one of you, for accompanying me on this journey we took yesterday and the one we’ll take tomorrow. And I hope this cognitive passport will continue to serve as your cup o’ Zhou (/joe/) weekly.

Cheers, and I’m excited for the adventure ahead!

Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

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How Do We Welcome the Founder Narratives Behind the Curtains

Being a founder is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Resilience and grit are two (or one) of the indispensable traits of a 5-star entrepreneur. And most, if not all, investors establish grit as the baseline in founder selection, as opposed to the topline in various other careers. While I don’t mean to discount other career paths, all of which I have incredible admiration for, I can only speak in the world of venture where I spend most of my time in.

Yet that same persistence could very much be the same double-edged sword that makes or breaks you. In October, Ryan Caldbeck wrote about his decision to step down as CEO of CircleUp. It was and is one of the most candid pieces I’ve read about the founder journey to date. In it, one section particularly stood out. “Persistence was my superpower. But now I’ve now come to understand that persistence is a double-edged sword, and my decision not to take a break, to not take more off my plate, hurt me, my family and the company. That was the biggest mistake of my career.”

In the founder journey, there exist many moments a founder’s resilience is stress-tested. To get their first customer. To scale to a team of 10. 30. 100. To get their first investor. To raise their first institutional round. But the last thing a founding team needs is for some of their greatest evangelists – their investors – to create counterproductive friction. While it’s presumptuous of me to say that all friction is counterproductive, some friction and additional perspective is necessary to help founders make better, more informed decisions.

In his same essay, Ryan shares a feedback email he wrote to his former board member, as that member’s participation in the company had become “counterproductive”, “vindictive”, and even “destructive”. Unfortunately, these stories happen more often than I would like. It is why many founders believe investors are the gatekeepers to their startup’s success. But we’re not. We don’t have the right to be. On the same token, that’s exactly why it’s so important for founders to deeply consider founder-investor fit.

Michael Freeman found in 2017 that entrepreneurs are 50% more likely to report a mental health condition. Being a founder is lonely. But it doesn’t have to be.

Anton Ego’s words

A few weekends back, my friend and I re-watched my favorite movie. And as the movie faded into music, Anton Ego’s words echoed in my head. While it’s not the first time this quote has appeared in the venture world, it certainly won’t be the last:

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends.

“Last night, I experienced something new, an extra-ordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau’s famous motto: ‘Anyone can cook.’ But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau’s, who is, in this critic’s opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau’s soon, hungry for more.”

For VCs

One of my favorite investors often says, “stay positive, test negative.” While the greatest strength an entrepreneur can have may be grit, the greatest strength an investor can have is optimism.

Optimism in the world. In markets. In startups. But especially people. That even if one venture doesn’t work out, for the people I’ve had the opportunity to stand behind, I know one of their pursuits eventually will. It’s only a matter of time and luck.

That same optimism is a leading indicator for open-mindedness. As people who build our careers at the top of the funnel, it is our obligation to cast our net outside of what is most familiar to us. There will be a number of ideas and belief systems entrepreneurs have that challenge our own. And in many ways they should, as founders are on the frontlines of innovation, they are aiming to be “right on the non-consensus“, to quote Andy Rachleff. When I first got into VC, that same investor who said “stay positive, test negative”, shared another word of advice, “Some of the best ideas seem crazy at first.“

George Bernard Shaw once said something similar as well, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

Optimism isn’t only isolated to ideas, but also to the people – the “unreasonable” women and men – behind those ideas and the decisions they make. These innovators aren’t perfect, yet somehow many of us expect them to be. And that dichotomy has created this unfair dynamic that stunts innovation more than we think. I have so much respect for the funds that have set aside capital to invest in founders’ wellbeing, like Felicis Ventures, Freestyle, Crosscut, and more. And I hope many more will follow.

The stories we tell

Over the past few months, I’ve had a number of conversations with founders, friends, and readers about “mental fitness” and “emotional hygiene”. If I could borrow two of my friends’ vernacular. And I’ve learned that we humans are such amazing storytellers.

These powerful narratives has kept the human race alive all these millennia. Before the written word, it was the art of the spoken word, passed down from generation to generation, that held tales of ancestral origins of where to hunt and where to migrate to each season. The same stories have started and ended wars. They have helped us conquer impossible odds. Some narratives today are compelling enough for us to buy a new product or to end a conglomerate.

Yet these exact stories, especially the ones we tell ourselves, can cause stress, anxiety, and depression. The ones that the people we care about and respect tell us can carry even more weight. From role models, parents, managers, friends, mentors, teachers, peers, and more.

In closing

I realized, in conversation, these past few autumn months, more than ever, the power of sharing those stories. To share that we’re not alone and that together, we may learn more than the sum of our individual parts. I understand that it’s no easy task. Even for myself, I debated for the longest time whether to share that I’m not at my best right now. But I’m glad I did. The feedback from the people around me I’ve gotten since brought forth clarity and solace. Similarly, six of my friends, who publicly shared how they get through their toughest times (Pt 1, Pt 2), told me after how grateful they were to have an enormous weight lifted off their shoulders.

Top photo by Nong Vang on Unsplash

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#unfiltered #36 Thanksgiving Letters and Holiday Season Thank You’s

Every year, on Thanksgiving, I write a series of emails, letters, and texts to thank the individuals who have helped me become the person I am today – wittingly and unwittingly. Some of whom I may have never met. Some I may never meet again. And a small handful I will meet again on the other side. Nevertheless, the future likelihood our paths crossing does not change the gratitude I have toward each person.

Over time, largely due to the volume of letters I write, this practice has bled into the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Last Thanksgiving, I published 10 of the above letters (anonymized) I wrote that year as inspiration for friends, colleagues, and readers who may have been considering or writing their own. This year, I assume, won’t be an exception. And for many others who might need a gentle nudge forward, I share two letters of mine I’ve written this holiday so far to act as a potential anchor for you to start yours.

Dear…

  1. Centaurus – A reminder of self worth
  2. Cassiopeia – A chain reaction

A reminder of self worth

Dear Centaurus,

This year has been incredibly bizarre. On one hand, I’ve had some of my biggest wins in my life so far. On the other, I’ve hit low points I never thought were possible – at least for myself. Actually, especially so for myself. Yet they happened.

While many others might have seen them come and go like the autumn breeze that is blowing against my window sill as I am writing to you, you were there for me in some of my darkest times. I don’t know if it was telepathy or clairvoyance, but earlier this month you sent me one text: “Love you man. Just because.” It came less than 24 hours after a streak of 3 founders independently telling me I was not worth their time. One of which, the call ended 15 minutes into a 30-minute call. That morning I really needed that. And in that moment, I was reminded of another line you sent me last month when I asked you for a favor:

“Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.”

Thank you. I wish you and your family the warmest, the coziest, and the best of holidays. I believe the Danish call it “hyggelig.”

My deepest gratitude,

David

A chain reaction

Dear Cassiopeia,

I still remember the day I selfishly reached out to you. My internal monologue went something along the lines of: “Nah, she’s going to be way too busy to reply. But you know, what if? Nah! Maybe I should send a follow-up in a week.” 7 minutes later, my phone goes bzzzt, bzzzt. Being the phone addict that I am, I had to check and there in my inbox lied an email from you. Overly excited, I replied quickly. And your following reply, or more accurately, your voice message lit my day up like New Years.

I’m 24-years young, but sometimes, like that day, I still act like a 7-years young. At times, my friends and family tell me I should act my age. But in those moments, I admittedly unforgivably don’t.

Since then, you’ve inspired me to write a post about the psychology of curiosity and reach out to professors, like John List, to write posts like this. A chain reaction of ideas, but more importantly, your advice and feedback emboldened me to reach further. In this world that snowballed from your reply to my selfish message, 1+1 = 3.

Thank you. I wish you and your family the warmest, the coziest, and the best of holidays. I believe the Danish call it “hyggelig.”

My deepest gratitude,

David

In closing

We don’t often thank the people who’ve helped us get to where we are today often enough. I know I, for one, don’t. Thankfully, every year, despite everything else that is going on in my life and in the world, I’m reminded to set time aside to show my appreciation. A few minutes per person for me is asking very little for people who have saved me days, weeks, if not years worth of mistakes and folly.

And, the holiday season also happens to be one of the best, if not the best time to reignite old flames and to spark new ones.

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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#unfiltered #35 How Do You Know When You Click?

Over the weekend, my friend and I had this fascinating conversation about how we found our other friends. I know, metaphysical, nerdy even. But nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoyed it. She posed the question: “Is it just based on how long you’ve known each other? And how often you see each other?” For most of my life, I would have said yes. Classmates that became friends were people I met and could chat with over lunch or after school. The same is true for colleagues. And strangers. Some happened exceedingly fast – within 24 hours. Others have taken over half a year before we “warmed up” to each other.

Unsurprisingly, it gave birth to the question: At what point does an acquaintance become a friend?

The PMF parallel

To be honest, I didn’t have a good answer then, nor do I have one now. Part of the reason I’m sharing this is to open up dialogue and draw inspiration from you, my readers.

Pushing up my glasses, which I’ve got to get a new pair (open to any recommendations), I couldn’t but analogize it to startups finding product-market fit.

How do founders know when they hit product-market fit? The TL;DR version: when you’re too busy to even ponder if you have product-market fit. Or simply, you’ll know it when you have it. For the longer, less nebulous answer, I recommend checking out Lenny Rachitsky’s piece on it, and some of other essays I’ve written on the topic:

Or as Casey Winters, Chief Product Officer at Eventbrite, says:

“Product-market fit isn’t when your customers stop complaining, it’s when they stop leaving.”

Some more examples include, when:

  • You’re focused on upgrading your servers rather than acquiring customers.
  • There’s so much demand, you’re writing “I’m sorry” and “Not yet” emails to your customers who are asking when can they get off the waitlist.
  • Laggards on the adoption curve start using your product and saying wow. In Airbnb’s case, that was Joe Gebbia‘s mom using the product.
  • There are handwritten love letters in your office mailbox.
  • Customers are asking how they can pay (more) for your product.
  • You’re feeling the pull of the market rather than pushing your product in front of people.

Friends

On a similar note, when the entropy of a relationship and the subsequent conversations break into an impetuous nature that eclipses the inciting reason for the relationship, you might have something going. Or in simpler words, you can’t stop the momentum of the relationship. “What about this?” “Let’s do that!” “Ahhh, not enough time!” Of course, as all relationships go, it takes two to tango. Just like product-market fit, when you don’t have it, it’s not obvious what you need to do make it click. But when you do have person-person fit, everything makes sense. And quite obvious, in retrospect.

While the above was my answer on Sunday, I’m not completely sold it’s the end all, be all. And as I continue to find new sparks and rekindle old flames, I’m sure I will learn more about myself and others. A provocative question that may require a more provocative answer.

Top photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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#unfiltered #34 The Impetus to Cup of Zhou

It was a warm autumn 7pm. The golden ball had just found its home beyond the rolling hills of San Francisco. The sky above, dyed violet melting into a soft pink. I was walking up to Liholiho Yacht Club. According to my pal, the best spot in town for Hawaiian food. A 7:30 reservation for our quarterly mentor-mentee dinner.

As I was walking up from SOMA, I was running through the conversation I just had with a founder. He closed the conversation off with: “You should really share this advice publicly.” He was right. ‘Cause in my 3 years in venture capital, I’ve shared that same piece of advice I gave him more than 50 times at that point. I’d been meaning to. I had 11 blog posts written already, just not published. All written in an FAQ format. Yet, the only thing I was still wrestling with was the name of the blog.

It seems trivial in the grander scheme of things. But the perfectionist, inspired by my younger career in art, kept nagging me.

Reality on Ice (ROI). Nah, that wasn’t it. Sounds like a Disney ice show.

Irrogueular. Nah, too eccentric.

David’s blog. Mhmm, talk about uninspired.

Curiosity. Oooh, I like this one, but (1) it’s taken, and (2) doesn’t feel deep enough.

And 80 more where those came from. But none clicked.

Anxious, once again, I began ideating as I bobbed and weaved between the evening crowds. Yet to no avail by the time I reached Liholiho.

Dinner was great as per the usual. My mentor had just joined a new startup, leading a new initiative. We talked work. Life. Athletic endeavors. Romance. And of course, food. It came to no surprise when we two hungry bears needed more to satiate our appetite despite a wonderful meal. After we were “Yelping” places to go to, which we probably flipped through a dozen or two, we gave up.

“David, let’s just grab a cup o’ Joe, and call it a night. Wanna go to-“

“Wait. That’s it!”

“What’s ‘it’?”

“Coffee.”

“That’s what I said.”

“No, no, no… for my blog. The name. My job is to grab coffee with folks. And at the same time, just like caffeine kickstarting all of our days, hopefully my blog can help founders kickstart their startup.”

I ended up scrapping 10 of my 11 blog posts. The only one I kept was my thesis. And I started anew. I spent 3 months ideating a name. 3 years, if you count all the random other WordPress blogs I started. But all it took for me was a moment – a spark. The closest thing I could analogize, at that point, to gut feeling.

Afterword

Oddly enough, this past week, three people independently asked me why this blog is called Cup of Zhou. One pronounced it “cup of zow” (like cow). Another pronounced it “cup of zoo”. The last was over text. I don’t blame them. They’re not the first, and they’re definitely not the last. I respond to them all. They’re all part of my American-born Chinese identity’s memoir. And this blog is just another chapter in my memoir.

Cup of Zhou. /cup uh Joe/

Photo by Demi DeHerrera on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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#unfiltered #33 Inspiration and Frustration Pt. 2 – What Drives Some of the Most Resilient People Forward

A few weeks ago, I published Part 1 of this post on inspiration and frustration. In that time, its reception has been uplifting. Easily my most popular and well-received blog post to date. It also happens to be one of my favorite posts to have published so far. So, I thought I’d continue to ask people about their cocktail of emotions now, the below two questions:

  1. What is the one thing that inspires you so much that it makes everything else in life much easier to bear?
  2. What is stressing/frustrating you so much right now that it seems to invalidate everything else you’re doing?

But, each person can only choose one of the above two questions to answer.

Three of the below candid responses are people I asked from the first cohort, while the other eight are people I thought would add a new degree of freedom on perspective. All of which were drawn more to their inspiration than their frustration.

And as such…

  1. It takes a lot of things to inspire and motivate… rather than one individual thing. – Model, writer, founder
  2. I’m inspired to have a hand in making the world better for everyone through technological progress! – Venture capitalist
  3. I’ve made friends with a girl from my neighborhood grocery store and a stranger opened a door wide for me so I could run towards the train and not miss it. – Founding partner/CEO, investor, community manager
  4. When you start to understand that life is bigger than just you and me, there’s a shift in perspective that brings meaning and purpose to our lives. – Zynara Ng, public speaking coach, video producer, TED speaker
  5. We have the means to weather our current circumstances. – Business professor, consultant
  6. We have struggled to find an extremely valuable and painful problem to start with. Nevertheless, someone will figure it out. Why not me? – Startup founder
  7. We just got a new addition to our family. […] I look forward to future conversations about life and deep topics with him, just like this one! – Startup founder, podcast host
  8. We just tend to judge ourselves more harshly because we have our entire past and lived traumas that we judge ourselves by. – Senior policy aide
  9. Their thank you letters, pictures, and stories of how Vinder has changed or saved their business/life solidifies to me that I’m on the right path. – Sam Lillie, startup founder, hiker
  10. Since this goal is so long term and grand, it’s easy to realize that small things don’t matter. – Sohum Thakkar, engineer
  11. In a world that falls short of showing us unconditional love, I can live my life in such a way that I can be that source of acceptance that others need. – Engineer, writer
Continue reading “#unfiltered #33 Inspiration and Frustration Pt. 2 – What Drives Some of the Most Resilient People Forward”
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#unfiltered #32 How to Win Even When You Lose

Two and a half weeks ago, I wrote about my mental model for confronting fear – the art of running into walls. Inevitably, I’ve had more conversations about fears and how to overcome them since then. And in those moments, I was reminded of a question Seth Godin posed on his recent appearance on The Tim Ferriss Show. Most people ask the question: “What would you do if you could not fail?” And subsequent answers led to wild dreams, achieving the impossible, and often times, still not a step closer to achieving that dream, myself included. I wanted to be an astronaut, a pilot, an Olympic medalist, and more. Instead, Seth posed the counter: “What would you do if you knew you would fail?“

Knowing that I’d fail

Seth cites that most marathoners competing in the Boston Marathon do not aim to win, yet they still do it. Similarly, I work with founders knowing that most will fall short of their dreams. If we’re talking about expected value – the sum of all the dollar size outcomes of each possibility, multiplied with their respective probability of occurring, then:

E(Vstartup success) << E(Vmost other career paths)

Rationally speaking, the career of a founder is not designed for success. But hell, it’s the irrational founders who do find it. Against impossible odds.

But why?

Why still pursue a career when the odds aren’t ever stacked in your favor?

On the same token, why participate in any contest if you know you’re most likely going to fail? And, I mean contest in the most liberal sense here. Just like a marathon is a contest of endurance and physical prowess, building a startup is a contest of capital, time, and social impact. Confessing to your crush is a contest of love. Sending a cold email is a contest of attention. The more saturated the market – the contest – the more likely you are to fail.

How to Win

In winning, I focus on only one question: What will I gain in this pursuit that’s independent of the result of the contest?

Running a marathon proves that I can push my body beyond its limits.

Confessing to my crush gives me resolution to move on in my life.

Sending a cold email hones my communication and research skills.

I work with startups to build friendships and acquire skills that will transcend the dollar value of the venture. People who are ambitious typically learn fast, and will try again and again until something works. If not this idea, then the next. If not today, then tomorrow. And, if not tomorrow, then the day after. It’ll only be a matter of time before preparation meets opportunity. It’s why we call startups 10-year overnight successes.

So when I take on a new endeavor even outside the exciting world of venture, I look for where there will be a net positive in my life and the world around me, on 3 fronts:

  1. The relationships/friendships I will build along the way,
  2. The skillset I will develop and/or hone,
  3. And the impact the process will have in the lives of other people, particularly my friends and family.

If the above function has a positive first and second derivative, then I know I will win even if I lose.

Photo by Johann Walter Bantz on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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