Category: Cold Emails

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#unfiltered #69 Maintaining Composure

meditation, zen, silhouette

When I was in New York last week, I had the fortune of catching up with one of my favorite people inside the rustic walls of Il Buco. Needless to say, an hour and a half was not enough to contain months of development and change. So, to continue our tea, the next day, after she met up with the one of the heavyweights in her industry, she asked:

“How do you keep your enthusiasm in check but show it to the extent that shows respect to the person and also have a conversation as equals?”

In sum, how do you fangirl/fanboy without losing your composure?

I don’t. It happens less frequently now, but I still do.

In fact, even when I try not to or attempt to convince my conscious self, this is just another human being doing their best to live the life they want, there’s something that my eyes do without fail every single time. Here’s to hoping it’s not painfully obvious to the other person.

In fairness, I actually don’t know what I look like when it happens. I can just feel and SEE it through my eyes every time. In fact, I don’t even know what this phenomenon is called. Or if there’s a word for it. If I were to describe it, it’d be if the thousand-yard stare and diplopia had a baby.

It’s completely involuntary. All my other senses and cognitions work just fine. And when it happens, I start blinking a lot more which usually recalibrates my gaze.

Physiological response aside, over time, I’ve simmered down my ability to respond into two ways, especially when my brain decides to turn off. One for each situation.

  1. I’m prepared. For instance, this is a scheduled meeting, or I know I will see this person at an upcoming event.
  2. I’m unprepared. The canonical serendipitous elevator ride. For instance, bumping into them at an event. Or true story, we happened to both be helping to carry A/V equipment backstage post-show.

When I’m prepared…

The goal here is to know the other person better than they know themselves at the point in time. This is the same mentality I carry into both conversations in public and private spaces. The former with interviews, fireside chats, and panel discussions. The latter in the form of coffee chats, dinners, happy hours, and the like.

Depending on the timeframe, I come prepared with a different number of questions. But generally, for every 30 minutes, I come with three questions.

The first question is to establish rapport. And it’s always a personal one. I almost never start the conversation with pure “business.” This sets the tone for the rest of the conversation, as well as how candid they will be with you.

You’ll have to do your research. Some may require more digging than others. That said, don’t take it too far by finding their home address or social security number. Here, I usually look for fun facts. Like they did street dancing back in high school or they love going to stand up comedy shows.

If you’re going to take away one thing with this question, it’s to surprise and delight.

For the second one, which is usually the optional question if we’re short on time, I love understanding people’s inflection points. For example, why did they go from consulting to acting? Or from an art gallerist to a VC?

Not just the fact that they went through a massive delta, but I love understanding what they were thinking before, during and after they made the transition. Was it a decision that was supported by their family and/or peers? Was it a difficult decision to make? What got them over the activation energy to commit to this new lifestyle?

The third question is akin to the one I always advise founders to think about when talking to investors. Why would this investor be the best dollar for your cap table? Similarly, even if you’re not raising money, what kind of question can only the person in front of you answer? Or very few others can? It’s usually a function of their work or life experience, where they end up becoming uniquely positioned to talk about that topic.

As a prelude to this last question, I usually preface why this question means a lot to me. Why do I need this answer? Show that you have spent time in the idea maze. Time thinking deeply about the topic already. Naturally, anything that is googleable is off-limits here.

You have one chance to make a great first impression. Don’t waste it.

Cutting it short

Just as it’s important to start the conversation on a high note, in my opinion, it’s even more important to end the conversation on a higher note. As such, I have a three rules of thumb:

  1. Never overstay your welcome. It’s always better to cut the conversation short than to end with awkward silence. Be extremely acute to where the clock is compared to how much time you’ve asked of them.
  2. Have a go-to phrase (or phrases) to end the conversation. One of my favorites is, “As with all great conversations, we ran out of time before we ran out of topics.” (The cat’s out of the bag, so now I need a new one.)
  3. Follow up within 12 hours of the conversation with notes from the conversation, and action items on your end. For instance, if the other person shared advice with you that you solicited, be sure to act on it. Come back two weeks to a month later and share the results of your findings. As you might suspect, bring a pen and paper for the conversation. People really respect it when you take their thoughts seriously. During, and even more so, after.

    If possible, pay it forward, and when that time comes, don’t be afraid to share it with the source of the advice.

When I’m unprepared…

While still worthwhile in the former situation, you need to be able to break the ice quickly and give others a reason to listen to you for just two more minutes. People are naturally busy. And if you disrupt their normal flow of life, their whole goal while you are speaking to them is not how they can talk to you more, but about how they can get back to doing what they were doing.

Just as much as you will be unprepared, they will be too. As such, you need to disrupt their flow even momentarily. Your short 10-second bio needs to generate emotion and curiosity. Oftentimes, that is not your title. For instance, one that I like using with folks who I know to be lighthearted and have no context to the startup world is, “I get paid to be the dumbest person in the room.” Self-deprecating humor really does help for folks who can and have time to take a joke.

Other than your short bio, always have 2-3 questions handy via muscle memory that are good to ask in almost any situation AND would give you immense insight. I’ll share one of mine, and likely many more in the future with my DGQ series on this blog.

In your line of work, what differentiates the great from the good? Not just the good from the bad, but how do I tell the very best from the ones that have yet to get there but are still a cut above the rest?

Practice these again and again. In front of a mirror. In the shower. Or while you’re driving. Until they become second nature.

In closing

The important thing to remember is these people don’t owe you anything. And sometimes, while you can’t give them what they want, you can make that amount of time you have with them amusing. Insight doesn’t just come in the form of answers but also questions that get others to think in ways they didn’t before. Going back to one of my favorite Kurt Vonnegut lines:

“Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.“

Photo by RKTKN on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

Any views expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone. They are not a representation of values held by On Deck, DECODE, or any other entity I am or have been associated with. They are for informational and entertainment purposes only. None of this is legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Please do your own diligence before investing in startups and consult your own adviser before making any investments.

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Be Interesting And Interested

copy, reflection, imitation

There’s this distinct memory I have from when I was 11. It was the second to last day of sixth grade – somewhere in the middle in the sweltering ’08 June heat. Despite efforts to hold them back, it was the first time in a long, long time that I cried in public. On a day when everyone was obsessed with signing yearbooks and bragging about summer vacation plans, my core teacher, Mr. S called one of my classmates and I up to his desk.

As soon as I realized his usual smiling demeanor was nowhere to be found, I knew something was very wrong. It turned out that my classmate had submitted the exact same final project as I did – one that I had painstakingly created over two months to be what I believed to be the most ingenious final project my sixth grade teacher would have ever seen. I don’t remember who that classmate was. Hell, I don’t even remember if they were boy or girl.

Between salty tears and choked hiccups, “She… she cop-… copied me,” I stuttered to Mr. S.

All I remembered was that the next few minutes flew by in a watery blur trapped above the floodgates beneath my eyes. I failed to hear a single word he said. I just stood standing facing the beige walls behind Mr. S’s desk. He pulled my classmate to the side to a conversation I was not privy to.

As time went on, my eyes drifted further up, hoping gravity would be kind to my waterworks today, until I was staring right where the west wall and ceiling met. And right on that horizon, I saw the words he hung against that beige wall since the beginning of the school year. A meme. Borderline, a dad joke.

Opportunity is now here.

But the ‘w’ and ‘h’ were so close together, when I first walked into Mr. S’s classroom, I thought it read: Opportunity is nowhere. When I asked, he once told me, “You know there’s a fine line between opportunity and lack thereof.” In a chuckle befitting of a dad, he continued, “The only difference is that you have to give yourself some space.”

And for the briefest moment, I remembering smiling just a little then.

After chatting with my classmate for a few minutes, they solemnly walked back to their seat and sat down. He beckoned me over, and waited a few seconds so that my sniffles wouldn’t drown out his soft, but firm voice.

“David, you should be proud [she] copied you. That means you have something worth copying.”

To this day, that line stays in my head rent-free.

Interest is a two-way street.

Eight years later, after crafting the perfect cold outreach email to someone I really respected, I received the most meaningful rejection email to date from her. Just four words. “Be interesting and interested.”

In fairness, it took me a few weeks before those words clicked, which I wrote about here. I was definitely interested in her background, but I hadn’t given her any reason to be interested in me. I wasn’t interesting. Or at least, I hadn’t painted myself to be an interesting person.

Interest comes in many forms. The ability to be useful. Being a host of exciting or inspiring stories. Strategic value. Bragging rights. Simply put, you need to have something that people want. They either want something from you, or they want to be like you. In Mr. S’s words, “something worth copying.”

Of course, maybe there’s a world where you don’t want people to know. For instance, Max Levchin once shared in Founders at Work. “If you patent [software], you make it public. Even if you don’t know someone’s infringing, they will still be getting the benefit. Instead, we just chose to keep it a trade secret and not show it to anyone.”

Or you might make your VCs sign NDAs. Which most of us aren’t a fan of.

In closing

If there’s anything you take away from this essay, it’s that:

  1. I used to be crybaby, and
  2. Have something worth people’s time and interest.

It doesn’t matter if you’re copied. Hell, it’s good that you’re being copied, or that there are similar ideas in the market.

I came across a thread by Greg Isenberg that echoed the same notion.

At the end of the day, it’s not about the idea; it’s about execution. No one can beat you at being you. Do things that excite you. Do things that, if you were someone else, you would want to hang out with you.

Don’t ever have someone you meet with feel like they’ve wasted their time. Rather, make them feel like they got time back from meeting with you. That’s when you feel the magnetic pull of the people around you. And that’s when the people you want to meet and learn from will want to learn from you.

I’m once again reminded of two quotes. One of my recent favorites.

“Magic is just spending more time on a trick than anyone would ever expect to be worth it.” – Penn & Teller

The other from my favorite movie.

“Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.”

Stay magical, my friends.

Photo by Andre Mouton on Unsplash

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

Any views expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone. They are not a representation of values held by On Deck, DECODE, or any other entity I am or have been associated with. They are for informational and entertainment purposes only. None of this is legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Please do your own diligence before investing in startups and consult your own adviser before making any investments.

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Don’t Drop the Ball After the First Shot – Following Up Cold Emails

If you’re a regular on this blog, you’re probably no stranger to my essays on cold emails – whether it’s my cold outreach mental model or lessons from replying to spam emails or how I write longer cold emails as opposed to shorter. Yet, I recently realized I’ve shared my thoughts on the pre-game and the game itself, but I’ve yet to write on the post-game. So this essay is dedicated to exactly that. What do you do after you send that initial cold email?

The short answer: If you want to stand out, always follow up. To quote my good friend, Christen on her TikTok, where she shares amazing soundbites of career advice and networking.

The longer answer

I met a founder once who emailed an executive at Disney every business day for almost one year, minus ten days. The caveat is at the top of every daily email he wrote, “If you want me to stop, I will.” Almost a year after he began, the executive took the meeting. And Disney is now one of this startup’s biggest customers.

I met another founder a few years ago, who retweeted tweets from a Forbes’ Midas 100 VC every week for three months, while including his own constructive commentary each time. So, when this founder began his fundraise three months later, this VC set up a meeting with that founder within two hours of the cold email, first thanking the founder for his thoughts over the past few months.

Garry Tan and Apoorva Mehta have both shared this story publicly. Apoorva, founder of Instacart, back in 2012, wanted to apply to Y Combinator. Unfortunately, he was applying two months late. So he reached out to all the YC alum he knew to get intros to the YC partners. He just needed one to be interested. But after every single one said no, Garry, then a partner at YC, wrote: “You could submit a late application, but it will be nearly impossible to get you in now.”

For Apoorva, that meant “it was possible.” He sent an application and a video in, but Garry responded with another “no” several days later. But instead of pushing with another email and another application, Apoorva decided to send Garry a 6-pack of beer delivered by Instacart. So that Garry could try out the product firsthand. 21st Amendment’s Back in Black, to be specific. In the end, without any precedent, Instacart was accepted. And the rest is history.

So, what is the common thread here?

As my friend once told me, “It’s not hard to be persistent. Most people can easily be. But most people aren’t persistent AND considerate.” Persistence is keeping your promises to yourself. Being considerate is respecting and keeping your promises to others – explicit and implicit. Explicitly, if you say you’re going to do something, do it. Implicitly, understand the social context, their schedule, their cognitive load. One of the lines I always add at the bottom (or sometimes at the top) of my cold outreaches:

“If you’re too busy, I completely understand.”

Or the variation I shared in my cold email “template”:

“I know you get a hundred emails a day, and if you don’t have any time to respond, I completely understand.”

To take that one step further, sometimes you’re reasonably confident they won’t have time to respond. Big life or career events may make it hard for them to respond, like:

  • New baby/paternity/maternity leave
  • New publication
  • Recently did a (podcast) interview
  • Released some version of viral content (i.e. YouTube video, TikTok, Clubhouse, Twitter, etc.)
  • Founder raising a new round
  • Upcoming product launch they’re a key player in
  • VC raising a new fund
  • Shit hit the fan
  • Anything else the press is actively writing about

If that is your assumption, I add in one more line:

“If you don’t have time to respond, I’ll follow up one week [or whatever other timeframe] from today.”

And once you’ve said it, do it. To save you the time to draft up a follow up email a week later, a hack I use is to just write that follow up email as soon as you send the first email. Then schedule it to send a week from the day you sent the first. Make sure that each follow-up email isn’t the exact same. Show updates on what you learned, found, or thought about, as well as additional value to the person you’re reaching out to. While this hack is the bare minimum of what you can do to follow up, this should never be the ceiling. 9 out of 10 times I find myself going back, cancelling the send, updating the email with my learnings, then re-scheduling it.

Follow up at least twice after you send the initial cold email. But be understanding of their circumstances. And of course, never overstay your welcome. Understand the difference between a soft “no” and a hard “no”. In the circumstances of a soft “no”, recognize the variables that led to it. And reach back out when those variables are not in play, or to your best guess.

In closing

I met a brilliant founder years ago who, at the time, scaled his business to 100 employees, and he told me something that resonates with me till this day. “You can only learn from experience, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be yours.” Though I learned of his saying a few years after, it summarizes why I started my 6-year at least once a week cold outreach streak. To learn vicariously through others’ experiences. And if that was and is the impetus, it’d be a shame if I didn’t see it through to the best of my ability. ‘Cause if I was gonna give up after just sending one email, why start?

As Ron Swanson once said, “Never half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing.” So if you’re gonna start with the first email, you might as well send the next two. If the first shot doesn’t swish, catch the rebound and shoot again. Persistence. And ideally rebound thoughtfully.

Photo by William Topa on Unsplash

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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The Four Traits of World-Class Startup Founders

Proportionally speaking, I rarely make referrals and intros. Numerically speaking, I set up more intros than the average person. Frankly, if I made every intro that people have asked of me, I’d be out of social capital. It’s not to say I’m never willing to spend or risk my social capital. And I do so more frequently than most people might find comfortable. In fact, the baseline requirement for my job is to be able to put my neck on the line for the startups I’m recommending. The other side of the coin is that I’ve made more than a few poor calls in my career so far. That is to say, I’m not perfect.

I only set up intros if I can see a win-win scenario. A win for the person who wants to get introduced. And a win for the person they will be introduced to. The clearer I can see it, the easier the intro is to make. The less I can, the more I look for proxies of what could be one.

This largely has been my framework for introducing founders to investors, as well as potential hires, partners, and clients. Over the years, I realized that I’ve also been using the same for people who would like an intro to someone above their weight class.

Below I’ll share the 4 traits – not mutually exclusive – of what I look for in world-class founders.

  1. Insatiable curiosity
  2. Bias to action
  3. Empathy
  4. Promise fulfillment
Continue reading “The Four Traits of World-Class Startup Founders”
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2020 Year in Review

I’ve written 102 essays on this blog in the past year, plus some change, spending an average of 1-2 hours per piece and a range from 30 minutes to 2 weeks. An average of 1,200 words per post. While not mutually exclusive, over half of which were on startup topics. One in three described the venture capital landscape. 36 (excluding #0) #unfiltered blog posts, where I share my raw, unfiltered thoughts about anything and everything. 16 on mental health. A surprising 13 on cold emails and its respective ecosystem. And my first public book review. Some didn’t age well, like The Marketplace of Startups. Some will stay evergreen.

25% of my blog posts I started writing at least 48 hours before the publish date. 1 in every 3 (-ish) of the afore-mentioned, I rewrote because I didn’t like the flow. For every 2 essays I wrote, 1 of which I had to wrestle deeply with the thought of imperfection. In effect, half of my essays were a practice to overcome my own mental stigma of “writer’s block.” Yet after over a year of writing, I realize that I’ve become prouder of my writing than when I started.

So, as the year is transitioning into the next, I thought I’d take some time to reflect on my growth 100 (+2) posts after starting this blog. Let’s call them superlatives.

Top 10 most popular

Ranked by total views per post, the 10 posts readers visit the most.

  1. #unfiltered #30 Inspiration and Frustration – The Honest Answers From Some of the Most Resilient People Going through a World of Uncertainty – I asked 31 people I deeply respect to share some of their greatest drivers and darkest moments in life and how they got through them. You can find part 2 here with 10 more thoughts.
  2. My Cold Email “Template” – My friends have asked me for years what I write in my cold emails, and now, what and how I write my cold outreaches are available for your toolkit.
  3. Fantastic Unicorns and Where to Find Them – An essay on the parameters and the mental models investors use to find “unicorn” startup ideas.
  4. When Investor Goodwill Backfires – What It Means to be Founder-Friendly and Founder-Investor Fit – How founders can do investor diligence before signing the term sheet and also how to best manage founder-investor dynamics
  5. #unfiltered #24 How long do you take to prepare for a talk? – A Study about Time Allocation
  6. How to Build Fast and Not Break (As Many) Things – A Startup GTM Playbook
  7. 10 Letters of Thanks to 10 People who Changed my Life – Every holiday season I write thank you letters to the people I deeply respect. It’s one of the best times of the year to reconnect. These are the letters I wrote in 2019. Here are also some I wrote this year for more context.
  8. #unfiltered #18 Naivety vs Curiosity – Asking Questions, How to Preface ‘Dumb’ Questions, Tactics from People Smarter than Me, The Questions during Founder-Investor Pitch
  9. #unfiltered #11 What I Learned About Building Communities through Social Experiments – Touching Jellyfish, Types of Social Experiments, The Thesis, Psychological Safety and Fairness
  10. The Marketplace of Startups – While many of the remarks on this blog post are now obsolete, largely incited by the 2020 Black Swan event – COVID, the two questions at the end of the blog post are the two I still like to ask founders today.

Personal favorites

While not every one of these got the limelight I had hoped, each of these are ones I felt great pride in being able to write on.

Most challenging to write

I had been wrestling with how vulnerable I can allow myself to be in the public space. Writing this post was frightening, but I’m glad I did. It cascaded into deeper conversations with my friends, colleagues and readers, but also inspired more blog posts after this about mental health.

#unfiltered #26 Am I At My Best Right Now?

In closing

I first started this blog with the intention of chronicling my own learnings in the amazing world of venture. While I couldn’t guarantee it would be helpful to every individual reading my humble meandering, I could, at least, guarantee what I write has been or continues to be instructive for me.

Within the first month it had evolved into an FAQ and a means to provide value to as many founders as I can when one day the number of people I want to help exceed my available bandwidth. Wishful thinking at the time, but a cause that inspired me forward. After the first six months, with the introduction of the #unfiltered series, I began to write to think – a way to flush out simple, unrefined ideas to more robust concepts. While I’ll forever be a work in progress, I began to make new dendrite connections that never existed before. In a way, I was and am still chronicling my own journey in hopes that it will continue to guide people beyond my immediate sphere of influence.

Thank you, each and every one of you, for accompanying me on this journey we took yesterday and the one we’ll take tomorrow. And I hope this cognitive passport will continue to serve as your cup o’ Zhou (/joe/) weekly.

Cheers, and I’m excited for the adventure ahead!

Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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#unfiltered #36 Thanksgiving Letters and Holiday Season Thank You’s

Every year, on Thanksgiving, I write a series of emails, letters, and texts to thank the individuals who have helped me become the person I am today – wittingly and unwittingly. Some of whom I may have never met. Some I may never meet again. And a small handful I will meet again on the other side. Nevertheless, the future likelihood our paths crossing does not change the gratitude I have toward each person.

Over time, largely due to the volume of letters I write, this practice has bled into the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Last Thanksgiving, I published 10 of the above letters (anonymized) I wrote that year as inspiration for friends, colleagues, and readers who may have been considering or writing their own. This year, I assume, won’t be an exception. And for many others who might need a gentle nudge forward, I share two letters of mine I’ve written this holiday so far to act as a potential anchor for you to start yours.

Dear…

  1. Centaurus – A reminder of self worth
  2. Cassiopeia – A chain reaction

A reminder of self worth

Dear Centaurus,

This year has been incredibly bizarre. On one hand, I’ve had some of my biggest wins in my life so far. On the other, I’ve hit low points I never thought were possible – at least for myself. Actually, especially so for myself. Yet they happened.

While many others might have seen them come and go like the autumn breeze that is blowing against my window sill as I am writing to you, you were there for me in some of my darkest times. I don’t know if it was telepathy or clairvoyance, but earlier this month you sent me one text: “Love you man. Just because.” It came less than 24 hours after a streak of 3 founders independently telling me I was not worth their time. One of which, the call ended 15 minutes into a 30-minute call. That morning I really needed that. And in that moment, I was reminded of another line you sent me last month when I asked you for a favor:

“Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.”

Thank you. I wish you and your family the warmest, the coziest, and the best of holidays. I believe the Danish call it “hyggelig.”

My deepest gratitude,

David

A chain reaction

Dear Cassiopeia,

I still remember the day I selfishly reached out to you. My internal monologue went something along the lines of: “Nah, she’s going to be way too busy to reply. But you know, what if? Nah! Maybe I should send a follow-up in a week.” 7 minutes later, my phone goes bzzzt, bzzzt. Being the phone addict that I am, I had to check and there in my inbox lied an email from you. Overly excited, I replied quickly. And your following reply, or more accurately, your voice message lit my day up like New Years.

I’m 24-years young, but sometimes, like that day, I still act like a 7-years young. At times, my friends and family tell me I should act my age. But in those moments, I admittedly unforgivably don’t.

Since then, you’ve inspired me to write a post about the psychology of curiosity and reach out to professors, like John List, to write posts like this. A chain reaction of ideas, but more importantly, your advice and feedback emboldened me to reach further. In this world that snowballed from your reply to my selfish message, 1+1 = 3.

Thank you. I wish you and your family the warmest, the coziest, and the best of holidays. I believe the Danish call it “hyggelig.”

My deepest gratitude,

David

In closing

We don’t often thank the people who’ve helped us get to where we are today often enough. I know I, for one, don’t. Thankfully, every year, despite everything else that is going on in my life and in the world, I’m reminded to set time aside to show my appreciation. A few minutes per person for me is asking very little for people who have saved me days, weeks, if not years worth of mistakes and folly.

And, the holiday season also happens to be one of the best, if not the best time to reignite old flames and to spark new ones.

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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How Entrepreneurship and Networking Are Synonymous With Each Other

A few days ago, I came across a question on Quora that sparked my interest. “What [is] the best network for developing entrepreneurship skills?” And I couldn’t help but backcast, as Mike Maples Jr. at Floodgate would call it, which I shared a bit more here. Looking at the entrepreneurs I know who have achieved some modicum of success, how did they build their entrepreneurial skills?

Taking it a bit further, what is one skill that they have that made all their other skills much easier to acquire and/or hone? And I could only come up with one answer, which is understood in various nominations. Resourcefulness. Scrappiness. Creativity under pressure. Staying lean. Frankly, their ability to hustle.

“The best network”

What is the best network for developing entrepreneurial skills?

The simple answer: One you build yourself.

The longer answer…

Entrepreneurship is a career that requires you to hustle. Likewise, a network you build yourself from reaching out and cold emailing has the potential to be stronger than even the best of networks out there. But entrepreneurship can come in two flavors: a hobby and a lifestyle.

A hobby or a lifestyle?

If entrepreneurship is a hobby, there are amazing collaborative:

  • Slack groups,
  • Subreddits,
  • Facebook groups,
  • Quora spaces,
  • Meetup groups,
  • Conferences/trade shows/expos,
  • You name it, it’s out there.

But it will be akin to sitting in a classroom and learning the theory and conceptualizations.

If entrepreneurship is a lifestyle, you need to learn by application. And unfortunately, you’ll need to develop scar tissue from making real mistakes outside the classroom. You need to hustle and find what works and doesn’t work for you. Two of my favorite venture firms, 1517 Fund and Hustle Fund, invest in founders who do exactly that. Unlike many other venture funds, it’s in their thesis. Learn by doing. Learn by hustling. While there is merit in literature and academic institutions, you are learning at the pace of the system. And when you’re a founder, often times, time is not on your side.

In a parallel, an entrepreneur once described the bifurcation as a “lean-back” versus a “lean-in” activity. A “lean-back” activity would be watching a sitcom, picking strawberries, or typing a simple response to an email chain. Whereas a “lean-in” would be playing football, playing a competitive first-person shooter game, or fixing a bug in the code 2 hours before a product launch. Entrepreneurship, as you might guess, is a “lean-in” sport. So is networking.

There are two French words I often allude to – savoir and connaître. Both mean to understand. Savoir means to understand on a superficial, factual level. Connaître means to know on a deeper, emotional level – to be deeply familiar with. As an entrepreneur, the lifestyle you choose is often not passive, but an active one, or some might argue, an aggressive one. One where the clock started ticking before you started. Sometimes, before you were even born. Ben Horowitz makes a brilliant comparison between a peacetime and a wartime CEO. From his piece, I’ll quote two of his juxtapositions:

“Peacetime CEO knows that proper protocol leads to winning. Wartime CEO violates protocol in order to win.”

“Peacetime CEO has rules like ‘we’re going to exit all businesses where we’re not number 1 or 2.’  Wartime CEO often has no businesses that are number 1 or 2 and therefore does not have the luxury of following that rule.”

Where you’re required to make decisions in difficult times, and if you don’t understand a concept or a skill to the level where it’s engrained in your bone, you will fumble more often than you run touchdowns. Part of the reason why second-time, third-time entrepreneurs usually perform better than first-time entrepreneurs.

I graduated from a stellar university, UC Berkeley, located at one of the epicenters of Silicon Valley/Bay Area, where I got my economics degree and a certification in entrepreneurship and technology. I took a number of classes that allowed me “to learn and hone” my entrepreneurship skills. While there were a handful, I came out feeling I was equipped with the knowledge to take on the world. When I put them to the test, I realized I knew nothing. When faced with reality, I didn’t know how to deal with edge cases since edge cases are rarely taught in the classroom.

Most communities and classes teach entrepreneurship skills in abstractions, making it easier to understand. Even this blog post is, in many ways, an abstraction. They rarely teach the edge cases ’cause frankly, there are too many “what if’s”. But as an entrepreneur, you need to be ready for the “what if’s”. For anything and everything. And over time, what transcends the individual skills you have is having a mental model to hedge yourself from future edge cases.

I once asked someone what being an expert meant. And I really liked his answer, as it stuck with me all these years. He said, “An expert is someone who has made all the mistakes in a very narrow field.”

Photo by Jed Villejo on Unsplash

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#unfiltered #25 Meeting the Curiously Passionate and the Passionately Curious – The Why and The Where

travel, meeting people, rabbi sacks

“It’s the people not like us who make us grow.”

– Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks on The Tim Ferriss Show Ep. #455

I recently tuned into, at the time of writing this post, Tim Ferriss’ third most recent podcast episode, interviewing Rabbi Sacks. Although I’m a regular listener to the show, I wasn’t expecting much. I neither have a history of being religious nor spiritual – merely peripheral curiosity. Yet, I don’t hesitate for one second to say: It is, by far, one of the most insightful and enlightening podcast episodes I’ve heard in 2020. So, if you have a spare 1.5 hours, I highly recommend it, especially if you’re looking for a perspective shift on:

  • Leadership,
  • Seeking peer approval,
  • What a single cold “call”/visit could get you,
  • And the need for “cultural climate change” in the understanding between the balance of “I” and “we”.

And Rabbi Sacks masterfully weaves these concepts together. While my reaction will never do his insights justice, two other thoughts, each paired with their own story, I had to double click on:

“Good leaders create followers, great leaders create leaders.”

“What happens when you’re in a situation in which you have done something that has generated widespread disapproval? How do you deal with that?

“Win the respect of the people you respect.”

And I digress.

The Bubble

I’ve lived my entire life so far in the Bay Area, barring a few vacations and excursions here and there. I was born here. I went through 12 years of grade school here. 13 if you count kindergarten. And though I had the option of leaving the Bay for college, I ended up choosing a school here as well. Truth be told, I might as well have “Made in the Bay” stamped on my forehead.

I live in a bubble. But I know I breathe in one. Not just geographically, but educationally, racially, sexually, socioeconomically, and so on.

Being a shy introvert pre-adulthood didn’t help with broadening my perspective on life either. I still remember the days in high school when I dreaded the teacher calling on me. Clammy palms, cold sweat, rigid spine. I would never vocally question disagreement. Equally, I would rather be a people pleaser than cause what I deemed to be unnecessary friction. I was a seafood hors d’ouevres of perturbation.

So, by inspiration from a mentor, I took actionable steps to conquer my own demons. Meet one new person you’re extremely excited to meet every single week for a year.

While I still carry the artifacts of myself yesterday, learning to balance myself between the person I thought and think I needed to become and the person I was, I began my journey 6 years ago.

The Pop in the Bubble

I’d be fronting if I said I wasn’t scared shitless when I began. Though I don’t think everyone in the world has this dilemma, I’m confident I am not alone. I had and have all these scenarios playing in my head. A bunch of ‘what-ifs’. What if they think I’m too nosy? What if they don’t have time to respond? Or what if they hate me for bothering them?

They say it gets better over time. And they’re not wrong. But I still have that lingering, gnawing feeling whenever I click send or put myself out there. While, over the years, the fears never fully dissipated, I’ve learned to tango with discomfort. In the words of my mentor who inspired my journey:

“You’re never as good as they say you are, but you’re also not as bad as they say you are. And hell, you can’t even be bad if they don’t even know who you are.”

… which I believe he drew inspiration from Lou Holtz. Shortly after, I clicked the “Send” button at the bottom of my first ‘curiosity’ email. After all, like he said, what’s the worst that can happen? Getting ignored. And as such, I would be no better nor worse off than I was and am in that cross section in time. With that assurance, it eventually led me to find my cold email “template” and hosting social experiments, like Brunches with Strangers.

The Where

Over the past few weeks, a few new people asked me: “Where do you find these people to reach out to?” Although it’s not the first and I assume certainly not the last, I thought I’d share in the form of this post as a possible inspiration for how we can grow, if I were to paraphrase Rabbi Sacks.

While I don’t characterize myself as a voracious reader, I allot time every day and have found many of my Senseis in the form of literature and discourse – online and offline, printed and taped, and in-person and remote. Including:

  • Books
  • Online articles/press releases
  • Newsletters
  • YouTube videos
  • Movies
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars/fireside chats
  • Textbooks
  • And, other people

One level deeper

To look beyond my own horizon, I tune into Pocket‘s Discover tab, or a platform I’ve recently fallen in love with, Readocracy. You can check out what online reading I’ve been up to lately on my Readocracy profile. And I can’t wait, when I can start tracking the books I read and the podcasts I listen to on there. I’m also fortunate enough to have friends who read, write, listen, and socialize with different social and professional circles than I do and am in. And as I meet more people, the spectrum of topics and interests snowball upon each other, as we help each other see new perspectives – some of which we never thought were possible.

Admittedly, where I find who to reach out to is, by no means, special or esoteric. In topics, I look into ones I’m genuinely interested in, in that moment and predictably beyond, even if it’s only a month or two, as promiscuous as I might be for many. In my short phases of promiscuity, I nevertheless take deep dives. Deep, yet often, not long. At the same time, I have a small handful of evergreen interests, like:

  • The art and science of building relationships,
  • The art of creating irreplaceable memories,
  • Psychology and mental models,
  • Swimming and intense athleticism,
  • Art as a multi-faceted definition,
  • Startups,
  • Technology and what lies at its frontier,
  • The final frontier – outer space and its cosmological inhabitants,
  • And the future.

In people, I look for two things:

  1. Inflection points in their life. Oxymorons/ironies. Overt and covert contradictions.
    • If I were to make assumptions given their initial attributes (i.e. education, age, gender, geography, career, life choices/circumstances, etc.), would I have been able to predict where they are now?
    • Of course, in making these assumptions, it is also my responsibility to be aware and to tread carefully where I should. Unfortunately, ignorance is not an excuse. If I’m unsure, I err on the side of caution.
  2. Deep intellectual curiosity and passion. Whom I call the passionately curious and the curiously passionate.

In closing

While I’m prone to talking too much at times, during these moments, it is my duty and the highest form of respect I can offer, to listen. If I were to take it from a selfish note, I learn so much more when I listen. And in actively listening, and actively checking my biases, to respond with thoughtful questions.

So, I’ll close on more thing Rabbi Sacks said in his recent interview with Tim Ferriss:

“Safe space means that courteous discipline of respectful listening.”

Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash

#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!

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When I Over-assume in a Cold Email

cold email, glasses, how to write a cold email

I was quite surprised at the unexpectedly positive response I received for my blogpost, My Cold Email “Template”, I wrote a month back. From DMs by you, my curious readers, and my friends. A great question some of you brought up was:

“What if I have to write a longer email to get my point across?”

It happens. As some of you may already know from this post and my Contact page, I don’t believe that all cold emails have to be short. I, myself, am guilty of writing longer messages sometimes just because I can’t figure out a shorter way to express my interest in that person in a cold email. Regardless, if I think they have the time to read it or not.

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#unfiltered #22 The Lesson I Learned from Purposefully Replying to Spam Emails – Persistence, The Attention Allocation, and a Little Hack I Use

phone booth, spam emails, communication, cold emails

A few days ago, I watched Yes Theory‘s recent heartwarming and inspiring video, Creating a Subscriber’s Viral Job Application. And if you have a spare 20, I highly recommend checking it out. Yesterday, I chatted with a friend about the influx of spam calls these days. So, I thought; now that’s a start of a #unfiltered blogpost.

As a warning, this post is slightly more eccentric than, admittedly, my average #unfiltered blog post.

Prefacing with spam

I used to write this newsletter, Friday Morning Coffee Break, back in college for one of the clubs I helped lead. (Now that I think about it, coffee seems to be the theme for my content drops.) So if any of you subscribers then are reading this post now, this anecdote will be a momentary skip down memory lane.

So, you see, I’m a huge fan of comedy. And 3 years back, when I first learned about James Veitch, I just had to try it out myself. Replying to spam emails. From Nigerian princes. Cold emails from ‘celebrities’. Confirmation emails that require replying to unsubscribe.

If you’re curious as to how he pulls it off, you can check out his Hilarious (yes with a capital ‘H’) TED talks: here, here, and here.

What I did

When I received:

Subject: Save a 80% Off meds delivered discretely to your door

Don’t miss this once in a lifetime chance to get 80% off of a lifetime supply of Viagra!
GotBanq

… my keyboard was ready.

Continue reading “#unfiltered #22 The Lesson I Learned from Purposefully Replying to Spam Emails – Persistence, The Attention Allocation, and a Little Hack I Use”
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