I used to send intro requests for as many people as I humanly could. Admittedly, a sillier, more naive me a long, long while back.
The most number of intro requests came from people I did not know. Usually founders. Given that I had just entered the venture world at that time, I was labeled as an investor or, at least, someone, who was connected to the investor world based on my LinkedIn. I also had a habit of adding anyone who reached out to connect (unless they were obviously spam). At the time, I thought, “What was the downside?”
Spoiler alert: There is a downside.
They would try to tell me about their startup. Then asked if I would invest. I’d say no, so they’d ask if I knew anyone who might be interested. A fair question. And a natural lead-in, had I offered any names, to: Can you intro me to them?
In trying to be a good Samaritan, I’d ask for the deck and blurb in a forwardable email. Half of them would. Half of them would say something to the effect of “You know enough about my company already; you write the email.”
And my dumbass, fearing to offend, would go out of my way to write intros for strangers who didn’t even bother to write anything themselves. So, I’d send that email to a friend or colleague in the industry. “You interested?” along with the email they sent me. And if they didn’t, just their LinkedIn, website, and/or deck.
Naturally, most would say no. Some would ask for my take on them. To which, I’d share that I didn’t know much about them outside of the obvious. I wasn’t investing myself, but they wanted to meet. 10-20% of the time, some friends and colleagues would say yes. (To this day, I wonder if it was just their policy to say yes to all warm intros or they were trying to be considerate of me. Some, over the years, I’ve asked. As such, it’s all the above.)
Over time, I would just include “I’m not investing. Only met them once.” in addition to “You interested?” in those emails.
Then one day, and I don’t remember when I first thought to myself, why the hell am I putting my reputation on the line each time for someone I don’t know and personally haven’t bothered to dig deeper only to write an email to show I also didn’t care about them? Why would I put myself through that? It had also become emotionally taxing to me to go through all those actions only to disappoint the founders (and myself) 99% of the time. Not only would I feel bad (often delayed disappointment and resent at myself), but I also wasn’t doing anyone any good.
So I stopped. Full stop. Period.
Around the early innings of the pandemic when it felt like there was a greater influx of deals and noise.
My rule became, and still is, unless:
- I’m investing/invested
- I’m advising (investing my time)
- I’ve worked with you before and I would instantly jump at the chance to work together again
- I’ve hired you
- I’ve known you for so long and to a level we’ve become good friends and I feel like you’re a good reflection of the people I choose to surround myself with (that does not mean you have to be successful, but that you need to have good values and the discipline to pursue them)
- You are someone I care about
- Or someone, that has wowed me in a fundamental way.
AND I know the other person who you want an intro to well enough…
I’m not writing any intros.
I still read every email I get. Cold or not. And I still respond to every warm email I get. But for my fragile heart that can’t stand disappointing more people and the volume of emails I get, I’m not responding to any emails that look like they’re templated, AI-generated, or written without care. So I can focus on the ones that matter.
Photo by Collins Lesulie on Unsplash
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The views expressed on this blogpost are for informational purposes only. None of the views expressed herein constitute legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Any allusions or references to funds or companies are for illustrative purposes only, and should not be relied upon as investment recommendations. Consult a professional investment advisor prior to making any investment decisions.