I forget where I heard this recently, but I thought it was a great breakdown of how we are all a function of our past.
When I first jumped into the action-packed world of venture, the most daunting part of the job wasn’t the spreadsheets or the modeling or asking great questions to founders or being a thought leader. It was the seemingly sustained extroversion that was necessary to be successful in the field.
Everyone, but especially the best investors, seemed naturally extroverted. And, well… I wasn’t. And neither did I want to be. To me, being an extrovert just seemed so exhausting. That said, it didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy every second chatting with amazing founders and investors. I was just — still am — the person who taps out two hours into a party. Three, max. In fact, I used to be a stereotypically shy introvert back in grade school. Comfort and safety were my best friends.
So, the reason I’m sharing all this in the first place is that we are all a product of our history. In the world of startups and VC, it seems like the best founders and investors were born extroverted and with great charisma. They were daring, rebellious, and ambitious from the start. They have these wild stories of how they broke the rules as kids and how each of those anecdotes made them who they are today. And somehow they turn each of the afore-mentioned into great Twitter threads. But I digress.
I, for one, have not had those same experiences. But when I finally entered college, I let what would have been some of my most formative experiences slip through my fingers – a freshman year crush, the opportunity to invest in a classmate who became a world-class founder, just to name a few. All of the above opportunities I was deeply curious about but didn’t have the courage to speak up. And I beat myself up over it. So today, my spurts of extroversion isn’t a trait I was born with, but motivated by the deep regret I used to and probably still do carry of my past inability to seize the moment. A past I am rebelling against.
And I know I’m not alone. Having chatted with numerous introverted founders and investors I deeply respect, I know I’m in good company. For those reading who fall under the same cohort, you are too. We just don’t speak out much, so it may be hard to tell that we exist. Of course, this is only one example among many in a cosmos of life experiences and characters.
So, as you’re charting your life’s journey and sharing it in an interview, coffee chat, or fundraising pitch:
Which part of your past are you rebelling against? Which part are you running towards?
And be honest. If you can’t be with the world, be so with yourself.
As a result of writing a soon-to-be-published blogpost on how limited partners (LP) think about investing in VC funds, one LP shared a similar line of thinking. For emerging fund managers (equally true for founders), why does this product/space mean so much to you? The answer isn’t just because you worked X number of decades in it, but something more fundamental. If you don’t have one, you might find your founder-market fit elsewhere.
The DGQ series is a series dedicated to my process of question discovery and execution. When curiosity is the why, DGQ is the how. It’s an inside scoop of what goes on in my noggin’. My hope is that it offers some illumination to you, my readers, so you can tackle the world and build relationships with my best tools at your disposal. It also happens to stand for damn good questions, or dumb and garbled questions. I’ll let you decide which it falls under.
Subscribe to more of my shenaniganery. Warning: Not all of it will be worth the subscription. But hey, it’s free. But even if you don’t, you can always come back at your own pace.
Any views expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone. They are not a representation of values held by On Deck, DECODE, or any other entity I am or have been associated with. They are for informational and entertainment purposes only. None of this is legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Please do your own diligence before investing in startups and consult your own adviser before making any investments.
When I was in New York last week, I had the fortune of catching up with one of my favorite people inside the rustic walls of Il Buco. Needless to say, an hour and a half was not enough to contain months of development and change. So, to continue our tea, the next day, after she met up with the one of the heavyweights in her industry, she asked:
“How do you keep your enthusiasm in check but show it to the extent that shows respect to the person and also have a conversation as equals?”
In sum, how do you fangirl/fanboy without losing your composure?
I don’t. It happens less frequently now, but I still do.
In fact, even when I try not to or attempt to convince my conscious self, this is just another human being doing their best to live the life they want, there’s something that my eyes do without fail every single time. Here’s to hoping it’s not painfully obvious to the other person.
In fairness, I actually don’t know what I look like when it happens. I can just feel and SEE it through my eyes every time. In fact, I don’t even know what this phenomenon is called. Or if there’s a word for it. If I were to describe it, it’d be if the thousand-yard stare and diplopia had a baby.
It’s completely involuntary. All my other senses and cognitions work just fine. And when it happens, I start blinking a lot more which usually recalibrates my gaze.
Physiological response aside, over time, I’ve simmered down my ability to respond into two ways, especially when my brain decides to turn off. One for each situation.
I’m prepared. For instance, this is a scheduled meeting, or I know I will see this person at an upcoming event.
I’m unprepared. The canonical serendipitous elevator ride. For instance, bumping into them at an event. Or true story, we happened to both be helping to carry A/V equipment backstage post-show.
When I’m prepared…
The goal here is to know the other person better than they know themselves at the point in time. This is the same mentality I carry into both conversations in public and private spaces. The former with interviews, fireside chats, and panel discussions. The latter in the form of coffee chats, dinners, happy hours, and the like.
Depending on the timeframe, I come prepared with a different number of questions. But generally, for every 30 minutes, I come with three questions.
The first question is to establish rapport. And it’s always a personal one. I almost never start the conversation with pure “business.” This sets the tone for the rest of the conversation, as well as how candid they will be with you.
You’ll have to do your research. Some may require more digging than others. That said, don’t take it too far by finding their home address or social security number. Here, I usually look for fun facts. Like they did street dancing back in high school or they love going to stand up comedy shows.
If you’re going to take away one thing with this question, it’s to surprise and delight.
For the second one, which is usually the optional question if we’re short on time, I love understanding people’s inflection points. For example, why did they go from consulting to acting? Or from an art gallerist to a VC?
Not just the fact that they went through a massive delta, but I love understanding what they were thinking before, during and after they made the transition. Was it a decision that was supported by their family and/or peers? Was it a difficult decision to make? What got them over the activation energy to commit to this new lifestyle?
The third question is akin to the one I always advise founders to think about when talking to investors. Why would this investor be the best dollar for your cap table? Similarly, even if you’re not raising money, what kind of question can only the person in front of you answer? Or very few others can? It’s usually a function of their work or life experience, where they end up becoming uniquely positioned to talk about that topic.
As a prelude to this last question, I usually preface why this question means a lot to me. Why do I need this answer? Show that you have spent time in the idea maze. Time thinking deeply about the topic already. Naturally, anything that is googleable is off-limits here.
You have one chance to make a great first impression. Don’t waste it.
Cutting it short
Just as it’s important to start the conversation on a high note, in my opinion, it’s even more important to end the conversation on a higher note. As such, I have a three rules of thumb:
Never overstay your welcome. It’s always better to cut the conversation short than to end with awkward silence. Be extremely acute to where the clock is compared to how much time you’ve asked of them.
Have a go-to phrase (or phrases) to end the conversation. One of my favorites is, “As with all great conversations, we ran out of time before we ran out of topics.” (The cat’s out of the bag, so now I need a new one.)
Follow up within 12 hours of the conversation with notes from the conversation, and action items on your end. For instance, if the other person shared advice with you that you solicited, be sure to act on it. Come back two weeks to a month later and share the results of your findings. As you might suspect, bring a pen and paper for the conversation. People really respect it when you take their thoughts seriously. During, and even more so, after.
If possible, pay it forward, and when that time comes, don’t be afraid to share it with the source of the advice.
When I’m unprepared…
While still worthwhile in the former situation, you need to be able to break the ice quickly and give others a reason to listen to you for just two more minutes. People are naturally busy. And if you disrupt their normal flow of life, their whole goal while you are speaking to them is not how they can talk to you more, but about how they can get back to doing what they were doing.
Just as much as you will be unprepared, they will be too. As such, you need to disrupt their flow even momentarily. Your short 10-second bio needs to generate emotion and curiosity. Oftentimes, that is not your title. For instance, one that I like using with folks who I know to be lighthearted and have no context to the startup world is, “I get paid to be the dumbest person in the room.” Self-deprecating humor really does help for folks who can and have time to take a joke.
Other than your short bio, always have 2-3 questions handy via muscle memory that are good to ask in almost any situation AND would give you immense insight. I’ll share one of mine, and likely many more in the future with my DGQ series on this blog.
In your line of work, what differentiates the great from the good? Not just the good from the bad, but how do I tell the very best from the ones that have yet to get there but are still a cut above the rest?
Practice these again and again. In front of a mirror. In the shower. Or while you’re driving. Until they become second nature.
In closing
The important thing to remember is these people don’t owe you anything. And sometimes, while you can’t give them what they want, you can make that amount of time you have with them amusing. Insight doesn’t just come in the form of answers but also questions that get others to think in ways they didn’t before. Going back to one of my favorite Kurt Vonnegut lines:
“Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.“
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!
Any views expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone. They are not a representation of values held by On Deck, DECODE, or any other entity I am or have been associated with. They are for informational and entertainment purposes only. None of this is legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Please do your own diligence before investing in startups and consult your own adviser before making any investments.
I am by no means the best equipped to talk about this topic, nor have I achieved any modicum of success that I can call my life’s work yet. But the beauty about being insatiably curious is that I’ve gotten to know some incredible individuals, like…
Multi-time New York Times best-selling author
Founder of a household corporate brand
Investors who have consistently returned their investors over 10 times their investment
Individuals who have achieved insane, superhuman feats (i.e. climbing Mt. Everest, Olympic medalist, etc.)
Creator of a popular TV show
Chefs will multiple Michelin stars
A mother who serves as the role model for her children
A war refugee turned serial venture-backed founder
A veteran with multiple Purple Hearts
Unfortunately, while this isn’t true for all world-class performers I’ve met — to borrow one of Tim Ferriss’ phrases, many continue to stay curious, studious, restless, and most of all, humble. For those who continue to stay humble, how do they do it? After all, they have every right down to their bone to exhibit a large ego. To be full of themselves. They’ve made it.
What powers their humility? A question I find fascinating and telling of character.
Admittedly, I wish I could’ve been less obtuse about how I asked the above question.
After a number of conversations over the years, there are four chief themes:
Their greatest achievement is still ahead of them. They know what is possible, and continuously seek the adrenaline of doing the impossible. As long as the impossible is ahead of them, they are fighting a war against antiquated, yet widely-adopted mindsets. And the thing with the impossible is that it’s impossible to do it alone.
They fear they are unable to outdo their last greatest achievement. That fear either slides into depression or a burning fire to prove themselves wrong. That fire continues to keep them on their feet, anxious of the day they disappoint others, but most of all, themselves.
They have friends and family they deeply trust. They value the opinion of their confidants to keep them grounded. Confidants who prevent the hype get to the individual’s head, without discounting his/her achievement.
They themselves meet with exceptional people who show them the world is bigger than their pond. Exceptional people who challenge what they themselves know and what they think they know, helping them realize the limitations of their own world.
Regardless of what stage of life we are at, I believe there are life lessons here for everyone else as well.
Your greatest achievement is ahead of you. Don’t spend too much time on the past, even if you are proud of it.
Find a support group who’ll be with you even when times are tough — when your faith in yourself falters.
And, hopefully that same support group of friends and family will keep you grounded, even when the world tells you, you are a god.
Meet with people who challenge you, who inspire you, and who motivate you to act.
Of all the above, I’d love to double-click that last lesson in particular. There are two kinds of lives that great people live:
A life to envy
Or a life to respect
A life to envy is a life you would love to live instead of your own. It is often easier and more privileged than your own. A life born with a silver spoon in their mouths already. And if not that, a life of fairly few struggles or of extreme luck uncorrelated with their ability to hustle. These individuals often live only briefly in the limelight and find it difficult to repeat the “success” they’ve had. For instance, winning the lottery or being born into a well-off family.
A life to respect is a life where the individual overcomes seemingly impossible odds. One built with sacrifice — blood, sweat, and tears. It wasn’t an easy one. But where they are today is a testament to the scar tissue they’ve built over the course of their life. There are chapters in these lives that could and would rip apart the average person. This life is a life best viewed in a cinematic theater, but not one most people would want to live themselves, even though the status quo may be something they desire for themselves. I often find the world’s best founders in this category. And these lives often stand the test of time.
Most of these people won’t forget the past they came from. They continue to have insatiable curiosity and a bias to action. As such, they continue to learn at an astonishing pace. They continue to inspire us and motivate us to be better. And even before they succeed, many of their peers who don’t join them for the perilous journey merely comment on how they’re “built different.”
These are the same people I love spending time with. And hoping that when I do “make” it, I won’t forget their wisdom.
#unfiltered is a series where I share my raw thoughts and unfiltered commentary about anything and everything. It’s not designed to go down smoothly like the best cup of cappuccino you’ve ever had (although here‘s where I found mine), more like the lonely coffee bean still struggling to find its identity (which also may one day find its way into a more thesis-driven blogpost). Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!
Any views expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone. They are not a representation of values held by On Deck, DECODE, or any other entity I am or have been associated with. They are for informational and entertainment purposes only. None of this is legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Please do your own diligence before investing in startups and consult your own adviser before making any investments.
Over the week, I was revisiting some of the Instagram posts that I had saved over the years, and I re-discovered one of my favorites by Christoph Niemann sharing his kudos to the late Kurt Vonnegut.
Most of all, Vonnegut’s advice on writing applies just as much to other forms of storytelling. And if you know me, I was immediately reminded of pitching.
Teach your investor something they didn’t know before.
A lot of investors claim to be experts, and even more are seen as experts. Too often, founders blindly listen to what their investors tell them to do. As Hunter Walk of Homebrew once said, “Never follow your investor’s advice and you might fail. Always follow your investor’s advice and you’ll definitely fail.”
YouTuber Derek Muller just came out with a great video on the ideal variables that manifest expertise. Two of such variables are:
Valid environments – environments that are predictable and have minimal attribution to luck
Quick feedback loops
The problem with venture is that our feedback loops are incredibly long and drawn out. Oftentimes, it takes 7+ years to fully realize any kind of financial outcome, although there are many red herrings of outcomes in between, like new funding, brand-name investors, users (rather than customers, or people who actually pay for your product), mass hirings, and so on. Because our feedback loops are slow and luck plays a huge role in success, it’s hard to differentiate true experts in the field. All that to say, every investor is learning to be better, to have more data, to make better judgments than the next.
And if you can show that you know something worth our time again and again, it’ll be worth paying our tuition money to you.
That said, I don’t want to discount how some investors can be really helpful in particular areas that have valid environments and fast feedback loops. For instance, code, A/B testing distribution strategies, ability to help you raise your next round within a certain timeframe, or get you into Y Combinator. The determinant of success in the afore-mentioned has clear KPIs versus their own financial success in the fund.
Give the listener someone to root for.
Aka you. Why you?
Mike Maples Jr. once said, “We realize, oh no, this team doesn’t have the stuff to bend the arc of the present to that different future. Because I like to say, it’s not enough. […] I’d say that’s the first mistake we’ve made is we were right about the insight, but we were wrong about the team.”
“I’d say the reverse mistake we’ve made is the team just seems awesome, and we just can’t look past the fact that they didn’t articulate good inflections, and they can’t articulate a radically different future. They end up executing to a local maximum, and we have an okay, but not great outcome.”
There’s a category of founders that are going to win no matter if an investor chooses to invest or not. Most typically like riding this train. They have to do little to no work to be recognized as a great investor.
Then, there’s the cohort of founders that may or may not win on their current idea, but their investors really, really, really want these founders to win. These founders are the underdogs. They’re also the ones with often the craziest of ideas. Even more so, they’re the ones that if they win, these founders will redefine the world we live in today.
As a founder, you have two jobs when fundraising:
You need to find the partners who really, really want you to win. As the great Tom Landry says, “A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, so you can be who you have always known you could be.”
You need to give these partners the ‘why.’
And I promise you that ‘why’ is not because of straight facts, but because of a story. Why should people help you get what you deeply want?
Every character should want something, even if it’s a glass of water.
Speaking of what you deeply want, almost every founder I chat with pitches me their raison d’etre. A selfless reason to cure the world of cancer. Metaphorically speaking, of course. That’s cool. You can tell that to the press. It’ll make great PR.
Rather I care about the exact opposite. What is your selfish motivation? This is a question I personally like asking founders. Your selfless motivation keeps you going during the day, during peace-time, when things are going just right. Your selfish motivation keeps you up at night, when s**t gets tough. When no one else believes in you except for yourself.
I want to know that you want that so badly, that you’re able to go the distance. And if that same thing is something that your investor can relate to, then you have a match made in heaven.
Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
Let me revise the above. Every slide must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action. Anything else is superfluous. That means, outside of your core slides — problem, solution, action plan/financial projections, rising conflict (aka competition, blockers and risks), and your team slide, everything else is superfluous. Or at least, save it for your data room.
I’m sure some investors would debate me on this, but every investor has a slightly different framework. The above is my own perspective. That said, every slide should give an investor 10% more conviction towards investing in your business — capping out at 70%. ‘Cause after 70, any additional information (in the first meeting) has diminishing returns.
Start as close to the end as possible.
No investor cares about which hospital you were born in, but they do care about when the fire first started. And they care about your inflection points, even if that’s still ahead of you.
Be a sadist. Show awful things that happened to the characters.
Grit is one of the hardest founder traits to measure over a 30-minute meeting. Even after prolonged and deliberate interaction, most of the time it’s still hard to grasp this amorphous quality. But if you ask most investors what is the number one trait of a great founder, it’s either grit or passion. The latter of which often serves as a proxy to grit.
If you’re regular here, you know one of my favorite quotes of late is Penn and Teller’s. “Magic is just spending more time on a trick than anyone would ever expect to be worth it.“
Past performance is not a predictor of future progress. But it really does help. A lot. In a startup’s lifespan to becoming a leading business, there are 10-15 trials by fire. And for each one of those, the founders are required to pull off nothing short of a miracle. In fact, this next year will be exactly one of those tribulations for 99.9% of companies.
So, show moments in your life where you were able to pull off a miracle. And a miracle, by definition, is when the odds are heavily stacked against you.
Show excellence. Walk your listeners — your investors — through the journey of how you tasted glory. How you were able to achieve the seemingly impossible. Personally, this is why I love backing professional athletes, veterans, and chefs. Three fields (of, I’m sure, many more) that you really need to eat s**t to be one of the greats.
Write to please just one person. Don’t get pneumonia.
Every pitch should be tailored. Why would this investor be the best dollar for your cap table?
No investor (even if it’s true) wants to be just another investor. They want to be THE investor. Make them feel special. When you propose to your partner for marriage, you tell them why they’re the one for you, not why you’re the one for them. You get down on one knee and tell them why they are amazing. Not the other way around.
Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible.
The one-liner matters. It is the first point of interaction with your startup, and oftentimes, may be the last. Don’t shroud it in mystery and jargon. If you’re ever stuck here, remember Brandon Sanderson‘s First Law of Magic:
“Your ability to solve problems with magic in a satisfying way is directly proportional to how well the reader understands said magic.“
Equally so, the subject line of a cold outreach email serves the same purpose. This is especially true, when you’re reaching out to someone who you can reasonably assume has hundreds of emails in their inbox per week. For reference, and for the most part I’m a nobody compared to the partners at a16z of Lightspeed or Benchmark, and I get about 50 cold inbounds per week.
So, in my opinion, your subject line should have no buzzwords (well, because everyone’s using them). Think of it this way. Say you’re an author selling your new self-help book. And say your greatest distribution channel are likely bookstores in airports. If everyone in the self-help section has an orange cover with bold blue words, you want to be the one black and white cover book. And if everyone has black and white sleeves, you bring out the neons.
In the context of email subject lines, instead, you should include numbers. What is the one metric that you are killing it at? Just like what I recommend folks write in their email forwardables. Instead of “Invest in the Leading BNPL Solution in Latam”, use “BNPL startup growing 50% MoM”. Give the exact reason why your investor should be excited to invest in your company. Don’t save it behind eight clicks — Email, Docsend link, and another six clicks to get to the slide of importance.
People can only tell different, not better, unless it’s 10x. Mediocrity is a crowded market, so don’t waste your time there. Taking a quote out of Pat Riley‘s book, “You don’t wanna be the best at what you do; you wanna be the only one who does what you do.”
In closing
Storytelling is an emotional discovery. The facts don’t change, but a great pitch or story weaves seemingly disparate facts into a compelling narrative. One that inspires action and draws curiosity. In a saturated world of attention, you are fighting for minutes if not seconds of someone’s time. Make it valuable.
Stay up to date with the weekly cup of cognitive adventures inside venture capital and startups, as well as cataloging the history of tomorrow through the bookmarks of yesterday!
Any views expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone. They are not a representation of values held by On Deck, DECODE, or any other entity I am or have been associated with. They are for informational and entertainment purposes only. None of this is legal, investment, business, or tax advice. Please do your own diligence before investing in startups and consult your own adviser before making any investments.
